We All Scream At Cloned Fish Protein

[Flattieman]

We all scream at cloned fish protein

By BEN GRABOW

South Mississippi Sun Herald

6/8/2006

I scream, you scream, we all scream when we find out there's fish blood involved.

The intolerable heat of summertime encourages us to scarf ice cream at a rate unheard of in other seasons. Unfortunately, the summer heat also encourages many of us to leave the house with no shoes, no shirt, and little left to the imagination.

This unhealthy combination of a love for frozen fat and a desire to wear as little fabric as possible can make the dog days of summer even more unbearable. Thankfully, ice cream companies are constantly coming up with new and creative ways to save us from ourselves.

Aside from the endorphin rush of a pure fat calorie coma, the real appeal of high-fat ice cream is its taste and texture. Without the rich, smooth consistency of sweet, delicious saturated fat, light ice cream will never manage to take off in the marketplace. Most consumers will agree, ice cream should be creamy at all costs. Even if it means adding a protein from the blood of an eel-like oceanic fish.

Well, OK, let's back up a second. How badly do you want reduced-fat ice cream that tastes like the real thing? You've been willing to try the regular reduced fat (made palatable with added sugar, which, in turn, becomes fat), and the soy-based stuff, and the frozen yogurt (again, more sugar), and even the "rice-dream," so fish-blood protein should seem perfectly reasonable.

But surprisingly enough, international consumer-goods conglomerate Unilever (company motto: We Probably Own You, Too) is having a tough time pushing its latest ice cream breakthrough. By cloning a protein found in a specific Arctic Ocean fish, they have found the secret to making creamy low-fat ice cream. In the process, they have managed to gross out reporters, columnists, the general public and the British Food Standards Agency.

In their FSA application to use the protein in ice cream and fudgesicles, Unilever has stressed that there is no actual fish blood involved. The protein only mimics the blood of the arctic fishes, which remains nice and blood-like regardless of freezing water temperatures.

Again, no fish blood, fish scales or fish drool is present in the ice cream. It doesn't taste like fish. You will be Able to Believe it's Not Fish.

Unfortunately, the damage has already been done. Nobody is going to want to eat a dessert, no matter how creamy, delicious and healthy it may be, when the term "blood-like" is involved.

So, how warm will it have to get before we're willing to overlook an ice cream additive's fishy history? If history is any indication, it'll be a hot day in the Arctic Ocean before we can stomach this dessert.

[mrmoshe]

Hmmmmm..I bet it's good as squid bait though

Pete.

Edited August 12, 2006 by MallacootaPete

[Flattieman]

Hmmmmm..I bet it's good as squid baith though

Pete.

The Antarctic icefish (Chaenocephalus aceratus) has no hemoglobin in its blood, which contains a kind of antifreeze. This allows these fish to be frozen solid in an ice flow before thawing out and swimming away. Some fish are absolutely amazing. Here's a pic:

Flattieman.

Edited August 12, 2006 by Flattieman