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Chinese Toture


Chris 55

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A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a small

house.

Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a

long, gray beard.

"I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so

much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three

worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as

well, he entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs.

She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic figure.

She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her

eyes off him during the meal.

Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed

alone. But during the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into

her room for a night of passion.

He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear

and, near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a

large rock on his chest with a note on it that read,

"Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."

"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old

man can do then I don't have much to worry about."

He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the

boulder out.

As he did so he noticed another note on it that read

"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."

In a panic he glanced down and saw the line that was already getting

close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than

castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read,

"Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

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