Open Letter To Mrs Stumpy

[bolan]

RUGBY WORLD CUP

DEAR Mrs Stumpy

*List of Rules (Read and print them)*

1. From 7 Sept to 20 October 2007, you should read the sports section

of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding

the Rugby World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the

conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a

bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not

receiving any attention.

2. During the Rugby World Cup, the television is mine, the VCR and DVD

are all mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a

glimpse at the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't

mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without

distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make

sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I

won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the

Rugby World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a

refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you

expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or

pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it won't

happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the

fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and

please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to

watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between

12pm and 3pm, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the

day.

6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams

is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game", or "don't worry,

they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me

angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know

more about rugby than me and your so called "words of encouragement"

will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to

me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if

the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying

"one" game, hence do not use the Rugby World Cup as a nice cheesy

excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the tries are very important I don't care if I have

seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times,

and record them.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related

parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:

a) I will not go,

I will not go, and

c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to

watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily RWC highlights show on TV every night is just as

important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but

you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to

something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of

this list".

12.And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank goodness

the Rugby World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words

because after this comes the 2011 RWC etc.

13. Do not complain that my new beard is "scratchy" or makes me "look

like a caveman". Showing my support for the Wallabies by growing a

beard is more important to me than our relationship. If you don't love

your country as much as me, then that makes me sad, and you should

leave. Quietly and during the ads if possible.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards,

Stumpy

[Sharky]

Whts you full name mate? I want to nominate you for australian of the year

[mrmoshe]

Geez Stumpy...If I tried that on the Mrs. I'd be starring in "Dead Man Walking"

I'd also be wearing the TV and have to have the remote removed surgically.

Good luck with your demands and I hope you like hospital food.

Cheers,

Pete.

Edited August 13, 2007 by MallacootaPete

[bolan]

Geez Stumpy...If I tried that on the Mrs. I'd be starring in "Dead Man Walking"

I'd also be wearing the TV and have to have the remote removed surgically.

Good luck with your demands and I hope you like hospital food.

Cheers,

Pete.

Yeah............... I think I really did it this time

[kiwi waynie]

GO THE MIGHTY ALL BLACKS