I Can’t Believe I’m Even Thinking This!

[Berleyguts]

I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m questioning  my existence, fishing-wise. I’m only thinking out loud at the moment but due to changes in my circumstances, it looks like I am seriously considering selling my boat and the majority of my fishing gear… well, my wife says I am! 😂 

As some Raiders will know, we tragically lost our son, Ben, about 16 months ago. We still don’t have closure on this, due to the extremely slow turning of wheels at the coroner’s office, but life here in beautiful Port Stephens just hasn’t been the same for us since he left. It is time for another lifestyle change and a move back to Sydney to be near our family, friends and the conveniences of living in a city that we just don’t have here in Port Stephens (health services, food options, transport etc.). We have bought an apartment off the plan at Tallawong and, although completion is still some way away, we are planning to sell our home in the Bay and hopefully be back in Sydney by Christmas/New Year in a rental unit. A unit will mean only 1 car space, so no room for my boat, the Toyota Prado I pull it with (and rarely drive, in fact), or the 30 odd fishing outfits and associated tackle and bits and bobs I have acquired over the years!

I guess I have lost my passion for fishing somewhat; other things have gotten in the way; I’ve had increased focus on my music (that will also be a challenge in an apartment and my band is going to have to find a new lead singer pretty smart!); travel is beckoning etc. and as it is now just myself and my wife (plus her Mum 😂), with no-one to leave anything to, it is time to get out and make the most of our remaining years on this planet.

I read posts on Fishraider only infrequently of late. I try to play the trivia each day… but, boy, miss 1 or 2 days and Mallacoota Pete is quick to pounce! 😂

So, I’m thinking of selling all my gear (including my boat), apart from just a few outfits… just in case. Thinking of keeping a light flick stick, a heavier flick stick for snapper, small pelagics etc. and a longer beach/rock outfit or 2 (maybe 1 of the Alvey outfits and 1 threadline outfit).

Am I crazy? I can always take a charter occasionally if needed, I guess. Do I need my head read? Has anyone else gone down this path? And, if so, how did you manage?

Excuse my ramblings… just thinking out loud but I suppose I sort of know the answers and this change is more or less inevitable. I hope to get one last session in my boat this spring, get some photos of it on the water, then it’s time to list it and all my gear for sale, with very mixed emotions. 😔 

Thanks for reading the ramblings of a perplexed Raider! 😂

 

 

Edited August 18 by Berleyguts

[dirvin21]

Sorry to hear about your Son, I can't even imagine, hope you guys get closure soon

Good luck with the move, Fishraider will always be here mate

[Blackfish]

I’m at a loss on what to advise you other than that my thoughts and my heart goes out to you and the family.

I truely hope you get closure in the very near future.

[Steve0]

There's no doubt, you are going through a rough patch. It is understandable you feel the need to be near family and friends.

I can't say I've been through anything like the same, but we came back from Far South Coast to be near grandchildren that hadn't arrived when we left. We had a superb location down there and thought they might visit more frequently than they did (they have work and lives to get on with).

Back here, not being able to grab the rod on a whim and walk a beach with nobody else in site is like ripping out an important chunk of my soul. Here we have a house being renovated, and my time is used up landscaping what was a mess of a yard. As hard as it is digging, humping rocks, concrete, sand, blue metal etc, the result is becoming satisfying after four years. Landscaping is a poor substitute for fishing three days per week, but it is a substitute. 

The only advice I can offer is moving into a unit may leave you with a lot of time on your hands. You may need to seek something to do to fill slow days.

 

 

[zmk1962]

So sorry to read of your loss Baz, you have our condolences. None of us know what life will throw at us, but I feel we, the ones that are left, owe it to the ones that are gone to live our best and fullest lives - it's what they would have wished for us. Whatever you decide just remember as each door closes another opens, and the Fishraider gang is always here. Keep rocking your music (my guitars have got me through many a tough spot) and don't get rid of all your rods - Tallawong is just down the road from Castle Hill - just saying !

Cheers Zoran

 

[BaitDropper]

Hi Berleyguts,  Firstly sorry for your loss.........

While the decision is yours, these types of life presenting changes do hit all of us through out our journey.. I my self at times in the past, considered selling whichever boat I had at the time because of these life changes too.  It's a big call, but sometimes it's what we do..

My only advice or suggestion, is to take the opportunity ( as you have said) of having a good spring in the boat before you move back down and see how you feel afterwards !!.

Only you will know what the correct decision will be and if you decide to keep the boat, you will work something out, as far as storing it somewhere, but if you decide to sell, I'm sure there are plenty of Raiders down here that will offer you some fishing time in their boats to get your fix...

Good luck with everything, moving is a huge thing, I recently moved states myself, hope it all works out for you.

 

[Little_Flatty]

Sorry for your loss Baz. I’m sure I don’t only speak for myself when I say you are thought of quite often, ever since we heard the terrible news.

11 minutes ago, zmk1962 said:

Keep rocking your music (my guitars have got me through many a tough spot) and don't get rid of all your rods - Tallawong is just down the road from Castle Hill - just saying !

Take note of this advice Baz! Sounds like a jam session on the boat is in order!

In all seriousness though Baz, life ebbs and flows and the importance of fishing changes over the course of your life. It’s not a bad thing to have a break from time to time.

Less is often more with fishing gear and may present you with a chance to refresh your fleet as well.

Some bass and carp to be found in your area too, so ensure you are equipped to handle them if you ever feel like a fish!

[mrsswordfisherman]

Oh Baz so much to say about this. 
Now is the time to be close to family, friends and good healthcare. Good decision. Ben would only want that for his mum and dad.

Fishraider is always here. People come and go and return. It is a safe and comfy place and a big “family”. Keep jumping in here. I know for sure you will be invited on people’s boats for a fish. @Scratchie is there at Port still. Even he is now busy with work and kids. Life changes. 

Trivia, I started many years ago. Mallacoota Pete was a moderator here originally. He was a journalist and well read. He brought news and library articles to us. He still plays trivia every day and is hard to beat, yes. Keep playing trivia.

Your band and music, you must keep going with that. Revisit the Bahasa Indo group. I am pretty sure there are many more fb groups you are in. Find some local groups in the physical community to join. 

Life does not stay the same as we age. We got the caravan when we retired and we did a lap to find the “perfect” place to move to. We found that we already live close to healthcare, family and friends. Having said that we have lost some family members and very dear close friends. 

Our health is slowly declining. We sold the Polycraft as it was getting too heavy. We since bought/sold 2 rooftop tinnies to take away caravanning. Stewy sold off masses of tackle including all game fishing gear when we retired. It was a hard decision for him.

Seems there are a few musos on here. Do I need to open a new area called The Recording Studio or The Jam Session? 

Look forward to new beginnings Baz.
The brand new apartment will be such fun for you and your wife to decorate and enjoy. Hopefully some groups in your apartment block to meet up with. Be positive!

Good things to come Baz.

 

 

 

[noelm]

I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a child, my sincere condolences, now, to answer with my thoughts. Not that long ago I sold my big boat, and I am going to sell the tinny and combine the two. Life changes and wants/needs/capability changes too, some changes are swift and hurt (like yours) other just sneak up on you until you realise that you’re “getting old” I will downsize my gear too, but I have kids and grandkids that I will pass a lot of stuff onto, and some I will sell. Best of luck in your new part of your life.

PS, you and Pete are pretty good at the trivia…….

[XD351]

Sorry for your loss. 
I know the feeling of having to downsize your possessions because of an impending house move all too well . I can highly recommend that you take a look at the rental scene in Sydney before you list your house , it is in a pretty dire situation right now and you may find getting into a rental unit very difficult and expensive. 

[big Neil]

Hi Baz. Very sorry that you are still suffering the pain of your loss. It is a hard road to travel, but travel it you must. I agree with Donna. You need all the support of family, friends, and the system, so if that means moving that is what you need to do.

Regarding your fishing...maybe you can find somebody with room to store it and you could both gain benefit from using it. It is certainly worth considering, particularly if you still want to be able to go fishing.

I wish you all the best, whatever you decide to do.

[slowjigger]

I'm not sure if I follow what you are asking. If you are moving into a flat with one car park then the boat will have to go. Presumably little need then for a lot of the boat outfits. You might find you will still want to go fishing - perhaps even more when cooped up in an apartment. There is always land based fishing, charters. Also any boat is a big asset. You could get an inflatable or other type of portable boat. 

[TheFishyFisherman]

Sorry for your loss Berley.

It must still be extremely painful without your son in your family. I can’t imagine how much your family is suffering from this. Remember that it’s okay to talk about things when your in trouble or when life is throwing unexpected things at you.

I hope that you can continue your fishing if you can and still live a positive and secure life even when times are tough.

 

Edited August 18 by TheFishyFisherman

[Derny Driver]

Sent you a message mate.

[Berleyguts]

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support. I am actually surprised that no-one tried to talk me out of selling my boat and most of my gear! I thought someone might have given me a good story to spin to my wife so that I could keep most of it, or, even better, convince her that I need to buy a 40 ft Bertram flybridge cruiser to keep at a marina here in Port Stephens, so I could come back anytime I want! 😂😂

Anyway, things have moved quickly and we signed a contract with our real estate agent today and our house could be on the market by the end of next week. 😬 If all goes well, we could be back in Sydney (renting) by Christmas, so I better pull my finger out and get onto selling the boat. 😞 Strange times ahead.

[slowjigger]

9 hours ago, Berleyguts said:

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support. I am actually surprised that no-one tried to talk me out of selling my boat and most of my gear! I thought someone might have given me a good story to spin to my wife so that I could keep most of it, or, even better, convince her that I need to buy a 40 ft Bertram flybridge cruiser to keep at a marina here in Port Stephens, so I could come back anytime I want! 😂😂

Anyway, things have moved quickly and we signed a contract with our real estate agent today and our house could be on the market by the end of next week. 😬 If all goes well, we could be back in Sydney (renting) by Christmas, so I better pull my finger out and get onto selling the boat. 😞 Strange times ahead.

You could get a berthed one in Sydney. I was nearly going to mention it. Ideal really if you don't have room for a trailer boat. No limited in size, no launching ramps and all the entailed mucking around. Money has to be no object though. 

[PaddyT]

Mate i live at Quakers-dont fish that much at the moment as i started a new business 2 years ago and when i get spare time im doing more hunting than fishing-but happy to have crew if you are interested (i run an 18ft centre console)

[JonD]

Sorry for your loss, it's something always in the back of my mind with such adventurous kids. I fully understand the idea of selling the boat but the 40ft Bertram in a marina would be the best move!!!. Just kidding regards to the Bertram. I could easily step away from the fishing scene and owning boats, as it's more about the people I share those experiences with than the fishing, so being closer to family and friends makes sense. 

If you are down on the south coast at all, let us know so we can hopefully catch up at a local music gig somewhere, my son plays at many of the local pubs down here.

[Berleyguts]

At the boat ramp, waiting to meet a potential buyer, for a test run. Possibly the last run on the water in my boat, ever… and I’m not even fishing! 😱 

Mixed emotions. 😢 🫤 

[Little_Flatty]

1 hour ago, Berleyguts said:

At the boat ramp, waiting to meet a potential buyer, for a test run. Possibly the last run on the water in my boat, ever… and I’m not even fishing! 😱 

Mixed emotions. 😢 🫤 

Hope all goes smoothly Baz.

This doesn’t have to be the end of your fishing career…just a new chapter. You’ll have to rustle up some Raider/Deckee company when you are back in the big smoke.