One More Funny

[Guest Dont Shoot Da Chinamen]

> Corporate Lesson 1 :

> A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is

finishing

>up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

> The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs

downstairs.

> When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door

>neighbour.

> Before she says a word, Bob says, " I'll give you $800 to

drop

>that towel, "

> After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and

>stands naked in front of Bob.

> After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and

leaves.

> The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back

upstairs.

> When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, " Who was

>that? "

> " It was Bob the next door neighbour, " she replies.

> " Great! " the husband says, " did he say anything about

the

>$800 he owes me? "

> Moral of the story: If you share critical information

>pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may

be

>in a position

> to prevent avoidable exposure.

>

>

> Corporate Lesson 2:

> A priest offered a lift to a Nun.

> She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to

reveal a

>leg.

> The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the

car,

>he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

> The nun said, " Father, remember Psalm 129? "

> The priest removed his hand.

> But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg

again.

> The nun once again said, " Father, remember Psalm 129? "

> The priest apologized " Sorry sister but the flesh is

weak. "

> Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.

> On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up

>Psalm 129.

> It said, " Go forth and seek, further up, you will find

glory.

>"

> Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your

job,

>you might miss a great opportunity.

>

>

> Corporate Lesson 3:

> A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are

>walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

> They rub it and a Genie comes out.

> The Genie says, " I'll give each of you just one wish. "

> " Me first! Me first! " says the admin. clerk.

> " I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat,

without a

>care in the world. " Poof! She's gone.

> " Me next! Me next! " says the sales rep. " I want to be

in

>Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless

>supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life. " Poof! He's gone.

> " OK, you're up, " the Genie says to the manager.

> The manager says, " I want those two back in the office

after

>lunch. "

> Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first

say.

>

>

> Corporate Lesson 4:

> A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

> A rabbit asked him, " Can I also sit like you and do

nothing

>all day long? "

> The crow answered: " Sure, why not. "

> So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and

rested.

> A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

> Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you

must

>be sitting very high up.

>

>

> Corporate Lesson 5:

> A turkey was chatting with a bull.

> " I would love to be able to Get to the top of that tree,

"

>sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy. "

> " Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings? " replied

the

>bull. "They're packed with nutrients. "

> The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave

him

>enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

> The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the

>second branch.

> Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched

at

>the top of the tree.

> Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out

of

>the tree.

> Moral of the story: Bullshì t might get you to the top,

but it

>won't keep you there .

[Flattieman]

Sensational analogies. Whoever wrote that is a real thinker.

Flattieman.

[Guest Dont Shoot Da Chinamen]

Sensational analogies. Whoever wrote that is a real thinker.

Flattieman.

ur looking at him!!!

just kidding