Friday Funnies

[Guest Dont Shoot Da Chinamen]

Assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill

 Clinton. One smart ass student turned in the following book report, with

 the proposition that they were nearly identical stories ! His cool

 professor gave him an A+ for this report:

 

Titanic: $29.99

Clinton: $29.99

 

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read

Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

 

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

 

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.

Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

 

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.

Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

 

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.

Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

 

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.

Clinton: Let's not go there.

 

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelery.

Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

 

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.

Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

 

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.

Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

 

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.

Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing.