Marinas

[harold]

You know following on from the other post re funny stories i got to thinking about some of the unbelievably funny things i have seen over 10 years of having boats berthed at Marinas. If you want a real laugh go down to any sydney harbour marina on a sunday evening in summer, usually it is about 5pm when the laughs begin. In summer as you know the afternoons bring the north easterly on our harbour and most guys out in boats are drinking like crazy. Its when they try to put the boat back into the berth the fun begins. Here are a couple of absolutely true stories that i have witnessed.

At Drummoyne one sunday afternoon it was blowing about 25 knotts and every boat was having trouble getting in its pen. Of all the boats that get into trouble none is funnier than the long thin ''cigarette'' type of boat as you can not steer from counter rotating props on a long thin boat, thus you only have the steering wheel to gain direction. I was sitting on the back of my boat enjoying a drink when one of my boating neighbours approached his pen. He had devils own trouble, every time he lined it up, he gingerly reversed and the wind would blow him off line. After at least 30 attempts he decided to gun it in (the right method for such a boat) but, unfortunately for him, the wind dropped momentarily as he did it. He reversed at about 15 knotts straight into a cement pole. He was a good shot as he got the thing mid ships and cracked his hull.

Another mate of mine had a 25 foot Bertram with a flybridge. This blokes name is Craig and we have been friends for 45 years. Anyway he moved up to Brisbane and one day we went out on his boat to the pub at the Mirage. He tied the boat up at the guest berth and we went in to get a beer or 8, when we came out about 4 hours later Craig said, "wheres the boat?" I replied "dont know mate" so as we walked over to where we left the thing, we saw people pointing down into the water and, yes, you guessed it Craigs boat had sunk as he had forgotten to close the sea ***** before he launched it from home.

In the eastern suburbs there was a lovelly Japanese man, he was a director of a well known bank and he had this 10 year old 34 foot bayliner boat that he used to spend tens of thousands of dollars on. In fact i was told he spent over $110k on it after buying it for $85k and when he sold it he got $100k for it. Anyway i digress, this poor bastard, every time he went out he would be towed back in. One day after paying $30k to have it repainted, his engines conked (a technical term) out just as he was about to go into his berth. With the wind, his boat turned side on and went down in front of 4 boats (mine was the first). Unfortunately for this guy our anchors all sat out in front of the bow and each one scoured a huge line out of his boat, at differing heights of course.

Lastly on the same marina was a real so and so of a guy, he owned an advertising company and no one liked this chap. One day he had 3 lovelies on board with him and he lost concentration whilst shouting at a 4th on the marina, The wind took him towards shore and, you guessed it, it was low tide. He was stuck firm and fast. So what did our genius do you might ask? well first he got the lovelies out of the boat to push and that didnt work, so he got them back in and in his haste to get out of there he gunned both 7 litre V8 pertrol engines. The next noise we heard was a thud as part of one of the props went through the stern of his boat. Then it was on for young and old.

These are true and i was present at them all. In fact i could add 10 more such stories.

Be careful, its a jungle out there

Harold

Edited August 16, 2004 by harold

[Guest Jocool]

:confusuion:

[wombat]

Harold mate you should write a book. Better still tell us the next ten stories.... I''m getting my deck chair out and esky and going down to the marina at 5 did you say next summer. :grogon: Sounds better than Funniest Home Movies.

Wombat (still laughing)

[Guest Jocool]

I''''m getting my deck chair out and esky and going down to the marina at 5 did you say next summer.  :grogon:

As long as it doesnt intefere with Sunday school! :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[wombat]

As long as it doesnt intefere with Sunday school! :thumbsup:  :thumbsup:

Heh! Heh! Yeah I''ll bring them too. Now children that''s what you should not do. :ohyeh:

Wombat