The Army

[Dreamtime]

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone!

I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all yagotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, or eggs ta get or feed to stack - nothin'!! But ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even some soap and a light to see what ya doing!

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city kids are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - strewth... its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own cartridges they comes in little boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - but it's OK coz it's only one at a time like, it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.

Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 18 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders. As ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes pulled me off and carried me to the boozer. He didn't come with us though, said somethin about sore mouth...

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.

Your loving daughter,

Sheila

[Josh88]

Was waiting for the punchline-right at the end

[hobbitt]

[Hodgey]

As an ex-serviceman of 15 years, who is engaged to an ex-servicewoman of 6 years ... we can really appreciate this Carl! Great stuff

Cheers

Hodgey

[taloyoak]

I spent 5 years in the Australian Army- 5 loong years

" check- down-away!"

[robeebee]

lol

[Hodgey]

I spent 5 years in the Australian Army- 5 loong years

" check- down-away!"

Ahhhh Nanook ... you are well and truly 'indoctrinated' mate! I assume RAAMC? Don't tell anyone, but I was RACMP

Hodgey

[taloyoak]

Ahhhh Nanook ... you are well and truly 'indoctrinated' mate! I assume RAAMC? Don't tell anyone, but I was RACMP

Hodgey

Hodgy... the red beret! OMG.

Yes RAAMC but was first RAAC, 1stAR, then 2CAV- then corps transfer to RAAMC.

I don't miss it ( laughing as I write this). Don't miss duties, extras, BFT's!

[Floating_Medic]

I spent 5 years in the Australian Army- 5 loong years

" check- down-away!"

Ha ha ha, im at nearly 13 years and still going.

That story is pretty true, ive met some doozies in my time thats for sure!!

[pjbink]

Reminds me of Sgt Yolk, The Tennessee Hillbilly who went on the win the Congressonal Medal of honour in WWI. He was a crack shot used to shooting the heads of turkeys which made picking off 'them big army targets' easy. He killed twenty or twenty-five Germans, captured 132 others ­including a major and three lieutenants­ and put out of action thirty-five machine guns, all in very short order.