Cobalt

Greetings Folks Sometimes life's just not fair and you can end up in trouble through no fault of your own as this letter shows. Henry Dear Sweetcheeks, I realise that you're emotional at the moment and I don't blame you for being upset. The doctor said I should be able to see out of my black eye in a few days so don't worry about it too much. You're probably thinking the worst but have it all wrong so I thought I'd write to you to explain what happened. As you know, on the second day of our stay at Jupiters Casino you decided to go shopping. Not wanting to hang around the hotel all day I decided to go and play a round of golf. I was about to play a shot up on to the green on the second hole when I noticed a frog on the fairway. I'm about to shoot when I hear "Ribbit Nine Iron". I look around but there was nobody there. I went back to playing the shot when again I hear "Ribbit Nine Iron". I looked around again. It was the frog!!! I thought, what would a frog know about golf ? and decided to prove it wrong. I pulled out the nine iron and whacked the ball. I was shocked! The ball flew straight up on to the green, landed ten inches from the cup, spun and went in. I said to the frog " Wow, you must be a lucky frog" The frog just replied "Ribbit, lucky frog" I decided to take the frog with me to the next hole. "What do you think Frog" I asked at the next tee. "Ribbit three wood" it replied. I took the three wood out and Bang... A hole in one! The rest of the game was a dream run. I played the best game of my life. I picked up the frog and had an idea. I asked if it was lucky in the casino and the frog replied "Ribbit, lucky frog" With the frog in my pocket I went to the gambling rooms and took my position at the roulette table. I asked the frog what it thought and it replied "Ribbit, Black 6" Now I knew that this was a million to one shot but after the golf game I was willing to risk it. Boom loads of money comes sliding across the table. I took my winnings and bought a bottle of champagne then went up to our room to wait for you. I sat the frog down and said, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." The frog replied "Ribbit, Kiss me". I was a bit shocked but figured, why not, after all the frog had been very good to me so I puckered up and laid a big kiss on its lips. At that moment there was a puff of pink smoke and the frog turned into a beautiful buxom naked young woman. I swear Sweetcheeks, That is how that girl ended up in our room when you walked in...........

Greetings Ben Great report. That's a creek I've spent a lot of time in and it's a beautifull bit of water. It's one of those places that once you paddle around that first bend you realy don't feel like you're in the middle of Sydney. Don't be shy about tossing that lure around as you'd be surprised what I've caught up this creek but I'd probably think twice about eating anything from there as the headwaters flow out of Menai tip. Might see you up there one day when the tide is high. Henry

G'day Raiders, This one is particularly appropriate this morning. Bad hangover. Henry Dear Alcohol, First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holidays, hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone Calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a kebab, a butter chicken curry along with a sausage with cheese, onion and mustard (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few sweet chilli and sour cream chips? I'm an eclectic eater, but think you went too far this time. 3.Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock!! 4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities. Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership. Thank you, Your biggest fan P.S. Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk... a ) Innovative b ) Preliminary c ) Proliferation d) Cinnamon Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk... a ) Specificity b ) British Constitution c) Passive-aggressive disorder d ) Transubstantiate Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk... a ) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you. b ) Nope, no more booze for me. c ) Sorry, but you're not really my type. d ) No kebab for me, thank you. e ) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight? f ) I'm not interested in fighting you. g ) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing. h ) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool. i ) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street. j ) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning

The year 7777, John Howards head will still rule the country from a bottle in Canberra, He'll still have two faces. The NSW state Premier will be replaced by a tub of stale yogurt ( Sorry, We've already done that!) Cooks and Georges Rivers will be full of Barramundi and Mangrove Jacks. With the rise in sea levels the best Snapper spot in Sydney will be the George Street Canyons. There will still be idiots on the boat ramps. The Dioxin will still be in Homebush Bay. Best of all, My place in the western suburbs will be the new waterfront. Henry

This joke is unkind to lawyers but that's ok. Enjoy. The Duck & The Lawyer A big city-slicker lawyer went duck hunting. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied,"This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the country and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in these parts. We settle small disagreements with the 'Three Kick Rule.'" The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?" The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute Occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gush'n' from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow patty. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and dragged himself to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "O'kay, you old fart. Now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck." Henry

Greetings Fellas, Don't know if The Raiders are familliar with the NOAA global swell and wind forcasting computer modeling page avalable at this link. http://polar.ncep.noaa.gov/waves/main_int.html By using the various options in the dialogue boxes you can get forecasts up to 180 hours ahead for anywhere in the world and even animate them. Although, like any computer model, it's not always accurate, I find It a great tool to have in the kit. Hope it is of some use to you. Henry

Hey Plazmadude, One way to fix that. When are we going??????? Henry

Greetings folks, Flatties and soft plastic. Now there's a perfect match. Henry

Greetings, Cant be unhappy about a fish like that. Great stuff. Had an early eighties flashback when I saw the pic! Henry

Greetings, That mullet would have been great fun. Pound for pound they go pretty hard and often jump. Good effort. Henry

Greetings Thanks for posting the rest of the pics Stephen Great stuff Henry

Greetings, Great pics stephen. Havn't seen the Nepean like this for quite some time. I for one would love to see some more pics. Henry

Greetings Folks, Looks like a Painted Grinner (Trachinocephalus myops) to me. Henry

That's him Henry

Greetings, This was our first trip out there for a number of yaers and we did it in style in my mates 6.5m boat but for many years I fished the area in a number of 14 footers and assorted tinnies. You should have no trouble in your boat. If conditions are nice you can fish out the front or if not then once behind the reef you are protected from anything comming from the south east east and northeast so the only dodgy bit can be getting there across Bate Bay. Regards Henry