Friday Funnies

[Guest Dont Shoot Da Chinamen]

*LOG ON*: Adding wood to make the Barbie hotter.

*LOG OFF*: Not adding any more wood to the Barbie.

*MONITOR*: Keeping an eye on the Barbie.

*DOWNLOAD*: Getting the firewood off the ute.

*HARD DRIVE*: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.

*KEYBOARD*: Where you hang the ute keys.

*WINDOW*: What you shut when the weather's cold.

*SCREEN*: What you shut in the mozzie season.

*BYTE*: What mozzies do.

*MEGABYTE*: What Townsville mozzies do.

*CHIP*: A bar snack.

*MICROCHIP*: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.

*MODEM*: What you did to the lawns.

*LAPTOP*: Where the cat sleeps.

*SOFTWARE*: Plastic knives & forks you get at Red Rooster.

*HARDWARE*: Stainless steel knives & forks - from &&*&*&.

*MOUSE*: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.

*MAINFRAME*: What holds the shed up.

*WEB*: What spiders make.

*WEBSITE*: Usually in the shed or under the veranda.

*SEARCH ENGINE*: What you do when the ute won't go.

*CURSOR*: What you say when the ute won't go.

*YAHOO*: What you say when the ute does go.

*UPGRADE*: A steep hill.

*SERVER*: The sheila at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

*MAIL SERVER*: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

*USER*: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.

*NETWORK*: What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.

*INTERNET*: Where you want the fish to go.

*NETSCAPE*: What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net.

*ONLINE*: Where you hang the washing.

*OFFLINE*: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.

[bullfrog]

[femalefisho]

Did you think of that yourself?

[domza]

brilliant

[Guest Dont Shoot Da Chinamen]

got it in a work email