Big Bob

Subject: Things to ponder over ....especially last sentence!!!!!] I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. Life is sexually transmitted. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt." If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? and finally Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?

Great Post I enjoyed the read.

Subject:The Pastor's Ass >The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. >The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race >and it won again. > >The local paper read: > >PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT > >The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the >pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. >The next day, the local paper headline read: > >BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. > >This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of >the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. >The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the >next >day: > >NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. > >The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid >of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. > >The next day the paper read: > >NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10 > >This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the >donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. > >The next day the headlines read: > >NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE > >The bishop was buried the next day. > >The moral of the story is.... > >Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery >and even shorten your life. > >So be yourself and enjoy life... > >Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and >live longer!

Four Old Ladies 4 older ladies are sitting around playing bridge. The first lady says, "You know girls, I have known you all a long time and there is something I must get off my chest. I am a kleptomaniac. But, don't worry, I have never stolen from you and I never will; we have been friends for too long." The second lady says, "Well, since we are having true confessions here, I must get something off my chest too. I am a nymphomaniac. But don't worry, I have not hit on your husbands. They don't interest me and never will; we have been friends for too long." "Well," says the third lady, "I, too, must confess something. I am a lesbian. But do not worry, I will not hit on you. You are not my type. We have been friends too long for me to ruin our friendship." The fourth lady stands up, says, "I have a confession to make also. I am an uncontrollable gossip, and I have some phone calls to make!"

Ffennncceeee Gate it will be known as.

7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to swear first, then you swear after me, ok?" "Ok" the 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast. "Oh, shit mom, I guess I'll have some Coco Pops." WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, " but it won't be ****** Coco Pops."

>Subject: Fw: The Pastor's Ass > > > >The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. >The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race >and it won again. > >The local paper read: > >PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT > >The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the >pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. >The next day, the local paper headline read: > >BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. > >This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of >the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. >The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the >next >day: > >NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. > >The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid >of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. > >The next day the paper read: > >NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10 > >This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the >donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. > >The next day the headlines read: > >NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE > >The bishop was buried the next day. > >The moral of the story is.... > >Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery >and even shorten your life. > >So be yourself and enjoy life... > >Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and >live longer! > > > > >

Kehunga good each way divs.Good work Mick

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad new is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years! "the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit.. it fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck." Joe was surprised, That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years. Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure." The salesman said, "Let's see... size 36." Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

How true it is > > >A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. >He reduced altitude to try to figure out where he was when he spotted a >woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you >help me? I appear to be a little off course. I promised a friend I >would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." >The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering >approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 >degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude." >Amazed by what she said, the balloonist stated "You must be in >Engineering!" >"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?" >"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically >correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact >is that I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If >anything, you've delayed my trip." >The woman below smiled and responded, "You must be in Management." >"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" >"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're >going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot >air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you >expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in >exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, >it's my fault." > >

King Billy is in his bedroom when his dad comes in. He says. Billy stop that you'll go blind. Billy says Dad Im over here

Not being a soccer convert I was bored till the last few minutes. What an adrenaline buz though when we won good Two Mr Cahill but Aliesi was brilliant.

TODAY IS NATIONAL GOOD LOOKING PERSON DAY. SEND THIS TO SOMEONE GORGEOUS. DON'T SEND IT BACK TO ME, I'VE RECEIVED F ..... ING HUNDREDS.

Havent really noticed that before but I have noticed that in any fishing type advertisements here are some great blues.The ad where they catch a trout off the rocks is my favourite and no I dont think they are in Tassie.The fish that appears in the xxxx ad looks a little freshwater as well.

Where do you fish troutboy.Seeing as I have not had much luck over Summer I would like to have a go at the trout.

I think the Stadium has some noise restrictions in place and most events have to be over by 10.30pm.If it finishes shortly after that I had figgered that about 9.30 to 10.00 would be the start.See how it goes.

I not sure where your boundary for a hire boat is but with the water cooling a bit of drifting could land you some flatties or a flounder.Try around Wobby Beach

You the Man. Lovely fish have you stopped buzzing yet?

I too love Alveys and have the DVD which explains almost everything you have asked.Ken if line twist is a ptroblem Alvey say that this is because the swivel size is to big.Try going for a smaller swivel. Sorry Ken I didnt read your post correctly.If anyone has a chance of getting a copy of the DVD its well worth a look.

Thanks for your input guys.Will have to get out the spray on em

Was interested to know what other Raiders thought about the Okuma Epix range. I have a EB-80 which I am very happy with coupled with a Silstar Crystal Blue rod which is my Jewie outfit. I have now bought an EB-50 which I plan to use on a medium action boat rod that I have had lying around. I bought the EB-50 through Ebay and think I got a good price. Have any raiders had experience with this particular reel and what do you think of them. Regards

I heard that the vicebox was about $100 and they had an offer of $100 worth of free calls credited to your account. With the starter kit do you need the voicebox ? Regards Did I say Vicebox must be getting close to Spring.Should have said voicebox.

Been to Glenbawn over last week.No fish to speak of but a nice time anyway. Included are some pics I took the 2nd afternoon we were there.

Awesome