Fishing Dictionary

[slinkymalinky]

I've read lots of fishing books that tell me what all those fishing terms are supposed to be for. I don't believe most of them. This is what I think the real definitions are of some well known fishing terms...... please add your own.

Cheers, Slinky

Fishing rod:

Long, slender implement primarily used for testing impact loads of car doors and ceiling fans.

Modulus:

A term describing the degree to which a fishing rod will tend to explode based on the material from which it is constructed.

eg... A low modulus graphite rod will simply break and requires considerable force to make it do so.

… A High Modulus rod will disappear in a shower of graphite powder if you so much as look at it too hard.

Tackle:

What most fisherman are considered to have their hand on when sharing unlikely fishing tales with friends after a few beers.

Fly line:

The delivery system that allows fly fisherman to cast practically weightless flies into unprotected body parts at a velocity almost sufficient to cause instantaneous death from hydraulic shock.

Reel:

The item of tackle principally used to store line, control fish through the means of drag, as a line retrieval system, and to attract sand, mud, Coca Cola and other debris.

Lure:

A small artificial representation of a fish’s food, constructed of plastic, metal, fur or feathers designed specifically to be repugnant to all except the most stupid and desperate fish. The law of inverse similarity applies to lures particularly and states that;

“The degree of similarity between any lure you own and the lure being used by anyone actually catching fish varies inversely with the number of fish the other bastards are catching”.

Matching the Hatch:

It is generally agreed by experts that this is in fact a mythical state in which you have a lure which actually imitates the chosen food of your targeted fish. In reality the law of infinite dissimilarity applies (ref. law of inverse similarity) and states;

% MATCH = ________________1_____________ x 100

No OF LURES AVAILABLE x No OF FISH

ie. The chance of matching the hatch is inversely proportional to the number of fish around and the number of lures in your tackle box.

Edited March 6, 2008 by slinkymalinky

[Mik]

Oh this post has just gotta be pinned!

Invaluable Slinky, Simple & straight forward. Finally explanations that make sense.

I have a couple to add...

Crab Pot:

A net-like structure you purchase to throw in the water at a place you have never seen or heard of crabs being caught, some fools actually retreive these things periodically to torture themselves. Most throw them overboard once & spend the rest of their lives tearing up the shed looking for them (On hearing that the "Crabs are firing at spot X") whilst they rust at the bottom of the ocean.

Fish Finder:

An extremly expensive device derived from the same manufacturers of space shuttle components and usually best left to those scientists to operate. NB - can sometimes be used to distract other fishermen whilst you "Borrow" another beer or the last sandwich.

Fishing Line:

An ingenious invention designed to prompt boat owners that oil needs to be changed in their outboard. NB - The step of finding this instrument & removing BEFORE engine failure is optional.

Sinker:

Thought up by the famed "Dr Lazy Fisho" this device was marketed to "Get your bait to the fish" but in actual fact the original method was to deposit so many of these dastardly things onto the ocean floor that eventually one could simply walk out to browns Mountain & reach into the by now ankle deep water to retrieve the fish.

Anchor:

A larger version of the "Sinker".

Swivel:

The bit that the fish dislike the most & therefore usually the only thing left on your line on retreival

Hook:

A device used to lower fish food.

Lure Retreiver:

A lead weight used to hold down your snagged lure for those fishermen who have the mentality "If I can't have it no one can" just in case it works free after you've given up.

Treble Hook:

This device was introduced by boat manufacturers. After an unsuspecting fisherman buys several of these he comes to a decision to buy slightly larger tackle boxes. The larger boxes allow him to buy more lures with larger treble hooks, these grow in number sufficient to render all tackleboxes too small hence larger boxes are bought with neat little foam sections that hold the treble hooks just right in the container. However these boxes don't hold as many lures so you need to buy many more of these "New & user friendly boxes" to accomodate your now rather large collection of lures (Which incidentaly don't actually catch any fish, just fishermen) These numerous boxes finally become so many in number that the only way you can accomodate them is to buy a bigger boat!

Fishing Forum:

A vehicle used to transport oneself into a world of likeminded individuals so that you may discuss into the wee small hours all the knowledge you wished you had, thought you possesed but really only dreamt of in the 1/2 hour you had for sleep before you had to get up & re-post another gem of inspiration that no one understands but pretends to be highly enthusiastic about. Its generally when you become a member of one of these "Forums" that you are truly and sadly a dyed in the wool sad case with no friends and very little life.

Oh, sorry, that was my epitaph.

Edited March 6, 2008 by Boofhead

[bolan]

Okay, here is my interpretation of a few words.

Fishing:

A labour of love that involves a man "sucking" up to his wife so that he may head out with other like-minded males and catch, kill, and bring home fish to feed the family. (This works in the reverse for Female Fishos)

Boating:

A term used by Fishos to describe a day out on the water when no fish were caught. Certainly goes down a lot easier when discussing your day out with mates at the pub.

Sailing:

Dont go there, Poofter sport.

Jewels:

You find them in a Jewie.

You also use them to acquire "fishing" time with your mates, or "boating" time should you not catch anything.

Sucking Up:

Any form of service to allow a bloke some "Fishing" time or "Boating" time.

Sometimes involves "Jewells"- see above.

Strike: Think about it............

Lumpy Conditions:

Occurs after a "Strike"- see above

Swell:

Your Wife visits Mother In Law for a week...........and takes kids.

Twins:

Two Mercs on the arse of a bertie

Scream:

Something you want your reel to do.

Something that you like to hear your "Twins" do- see above

Etech

Sailors use them-see above

Soon to be updated.

Cheers,

Stumpy

Edited March 11, 2008 by Flightmanager

[Flightmanager]

Scream:

Something you want your reel to do.

Something that you like to hear your "Twins" do- see above

Verb. Something you do when you hear the twins start up at 0500 , and you have just gottn to sleep !

Etech:

Term used by the not so bright when describing the far superior Etec range of outboard engines . Typically used by those folk who have thrown huge amounts of good money on lesser technology engine/s.

Ross

[bolan]

Verb. Something you do when you hear the twins start up at 0500 , and you have just gottn to sleep !

Ross

Adj. 2 : Music to a Fishermans Ears, rather distracting to Sailors- Please see above post

Adj. Something you do when you hear the twins start up at 0500 , and you have just gottn to sleep !

Etech

Term used by the not so bright when describing the far superior Etec range of outboard engines . Typically used by those folk who have thrown huge amounts of good money on lesser technology engine/s.

Ross

Sailors still use them Ross!

Enough said.............hehehe

Cheers

Stumpy

and another term

"This Big" : a lie

Stumpy!

[Flightmanager]

This Big

2) The action of spreading your arms as wide as you can , typically when describing the size of your fuel bill to run non Etec Twins ( see ref. above for twins)

Ross

Boat:

1) A large hole in the water , surrounded by wood , fibreglass , plastic or metal , into which you pour all of your money.

2) Bring Out Another Thousand.

Ross

[mrmoshe]

Yakka

Small fish who's sole purpose in life is to be eaten by bigger fish. OR Someone who

can't keep her yap shut for more than a minute..AKA..My Mother In Law.

[bjneville]

Nice one fellas

How about:

Burley:

Material distributed over the rails to attract fish. More prolific during lumpy conditions or following a big night out.

Rod holder:

The poor sap who spends the entire day (still) hanging on for his first kingie, never turning a reel [me]

Squidgie:

That strange combination of blood, fish guts and bits of rubber you find balled together in the corner of the engine well when you're washing the boat down after a hard day out.

[mrmoshe]

Bung:

Device for plugging hole in transon to drain water and gunk

Also often used to describe engine that has stopped working. ie: Gone Bung

Also used with "hole" to describe...ummmm...never mind!

[bolan]

Etech:

Term used by the not so bright when describing the far superior Etec range of outboard engines . Typically used by those folk who have thrown huge amounts of good money on lesser technology engine/s.

Ross

My Appologies kind friend.

A few more Terms Commonly Used..................

ETEC........

Everyone

Thinking

Engine

Crap

Etec! :

Mercs

Muscle-bound

Engines

Regarded as

Cool and

Superior

Mercs

Lesson over!.......Sailor Boy!

Cheers,

Stumpy

(I can see that this will be a very long post !!!)

Edited March 12, 2008 by stumpy

[Flightmanager]

Stumpy : Highly amusing and affable fellow , fisherman , parent to the Stumpettes , and Stumpy Jr. Owner of the good ship Day Release. Sadly , has no taste when it comes to outboards. Assumes that if it is that big , black and loud , it has to be good , 2 of them will be twice as good !!

(Still searching for that " Mercury Chainsaw " I told him I saw on Ebay...... ).

M ercurys

E nd

R esult

C antankerous

U nreliable

R aucous

Y achtengine

Mercury

Ross

[bolan]

M ercurys

E nd

R esult

C antankerous

U nreliable

R aucous

Y achtengine

Mercury

Ross

or possibly........................

Making

Etech

Real

Cheap

Underdone

Rubbish

Yuk !

Mercury

Cheers,

Stumpy

[slinkymalinky]

Merely

Engines

Real

Conoisseurs

Ultimately

Rejected

Yesterday

[Davemmm]

For gawd sake can we move Stumpy and Flighty to a private room.

[fisherdad]

Jetskier

A person who would have the IQ suitable to be an Anchor, Fender, Door Stop or Wheel chock

Boat

A method of disposing of excess income

Devorce

More expensive than a boat

Devorced

What I will be if I continued on this line of comment

Stubbie Holder

Essential on a Boat or anywhere a man could spend any extended legnth of time.

Food

Semi solid material consumed between beers to provide berley the next day

Gaf

a. Rumored to be used to assist fish into a boat.

b. Device wife can use to communicate to Jetskier when trying to drive boat onto trailer.

Fishing Net

Used for picking hat out of water after it blew off head

[Sammy0884]

Game Fishing

An inefficient method with which to distribute crisp $100 bills into the ocean

Boat Ramp

A much more convienient location with which to burn the afore mentioned crisp $100 bills.

Marlin Lure

An S&M accessory designed to daze and confuse Game fishermen, usually fleecing them of several hundreds of dollars.

Teaser

A device used to scare away game fish, resulting in fishless days for the fishermen.

[Jewhunter]

The only real true euphinism I can relate to fishing is,

KISS.

Keep It Simple Stupid.

We are trying to outwit a species with a very small brain capacity. I think we tend to over complicate things now & then.

Some times the simplest things in life are often the best.

Cheers,

Grant.

[bolan]

Keep It Simple Stupid.

We are trying to outwit a species with a very small brain capacity. I think we tend to over complicate things now & then.

Some times the simplest things in life are often the best.

Cheers,

Grant.

So, when I dont catch any fish........... what are you saying here Grant ????????

Stumpy

[Kirks]

fishing line

a piece of line that is meant to catch fish but tangles much, much easier.