achjimmy Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 (edited) Stimulus Payment Info. "This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format: Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgin. Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set or some such thing, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Australian economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely: If you spend that money at ******, all the money will go to China . If you spend it on petrol it will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer it will go to India . If you buy a car it will go to Japan . If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan . And none of it will help the Australian economy. We need to keep that money here in Australia . You can keep the money in Australia by spending it at garage sales, going to a cricket match or footy game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses that may still be owned by Aussies. Edited March 4, 2009 by achjimmy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherackattack Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 if you dont want the money, ill happily take it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scienceman Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 We're giving ours to our local church - at least they help the truly needy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
double pluggers Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 You have my vote for prime minister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjbink Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 One economists at the Premier's semina on jobs said that the stimulus money means that we get the debt and the plasma TV and China gets the credit and jobs! One saving grace though is that most other countries have their own stimulus packages. China has a huge one. So hopefully this will mean they will buy more of our exports. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daleyboy Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Im just glad that for the very first time in my life the Govt is actually giving me money ... being single and earning above the average wage, all i usually get is a big fist up the clacker! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiro Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Im just glad that for the very first time in my life the Govt is actually giving me money ... being single and earning above the average wage, all i usually get is a big fist up the clacker! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brickman Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 seeing is beleaving but if i do get a cheque i'll keep it and when i get slugged with a tax bill i'll send it back with a little art work on the back just for fun i did get a bill for not voting and there was a section to explain this is a quote off my reply i did'nt vote because i feel your all a compleat waste off my time and not worth voting for stop breathing and that will reduce co2 emishions i never got any responce gary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
high_speed_metal Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 We're giving ours to our local church - at least they help the truly needy. Never picked you as a church goer mate, thats a lot of money to give to the church. Mines going to japan. Oh well I'm still supporting my local tackle store. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BalmainBob Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 You blokes are lucky I dont qualify for the payment in anyway I didnt earn enough last year Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andrew399 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 You blokes are lucky I dont qualify for the payment in anyway I didnt earn enough last year I didnt think there was a minimum amount to have earned?? Doesnt it go to every person that lodged a tax return? $900 to those who earnt under 80k and so on... And just because your buying a car from japan or tv from china doesnt mean that you are not stimulating the aussie economy. The companies need to employ more people to sell the goods, leads to more jobs, thus more people have an income so they then start spending and so the circle continues... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
netic Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Mate if you spend the money in Australia it will benefit Australian, But a plasma and an Aussie staff member will get the commission and so on.... A great thing that i think aussie families do need Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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