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Great Hairtail Conspiracy Exposed!


slinkymalinky

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Went out last night with BrettP to join other Raiders at the Hairtail Social and we believe we've uncovered one of the great scams of our time. After 4 previous trips between us without seeing a Hairtail, after last night we are now absolutely convinced that

Hairtail don't exist and are in fact a myth perpetuated by commercial interests!

Certain facts have come to light that suggest 'Hairtail' are a myth created by a consortium of industries selling wire, chemically sharpened gang hooks, polar fleece clothing and red glow sticks! This deception has been running since the early 1950's and as well as the support of the above industries, must be supported at the highest government levels in order to manage the popular media.

When quizzed late yesterday evening on board the Fishraider houseboat, Swordfisherman related tales of past years when the Hairtail were 'on'. Remarkably, this occurrence has only ever happened to 'someone else' and always in 'past years'. BrettP and I have strong suspicions that Stewy is part of the Government agency controlling and disseminating Hairtail misinformation. Then again, it could have been the rum that had affected Stewy's recollections.

WARNING: Alcohol makes you more susceptible to the hypnotic suggestion leading to chasing Hairtail. Clearly, the other inhabitants of the Raider houseboat were at great risk too!

Of course, you will all say that you've seen the photos of Hairtail. One word people... PHOTOSHOP!

Anyone claiming to have caught one of these mythical fish should be viewed with suspicion. Ask who they work for or whether they hold shares in glow stick manufacturing companies.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED... The truth is out there!

Slinky

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"Hairtail don't exist and are in fact a myth perpetuated by commercial interests![/size][/color]

Certain facts have come to light that suggest 'Hairtail' are a myth created by a consortium of industries selling wire, chemically sharpened gang hooks, polar fleece clothing and red glow sticks! "

Slinky

Slinky,

Lol :lol: - you didnt mention those that provide large houseboats etc to enable additional home comforts, music, lounges, beds, alcohol, BBQ's etc enabling a more enjoyable fishing experience. Sounds like the :wife: is in on this consipracy also :tease:, in an attempt to take over another of mans past times.

I had heard a hairtail or two were caught (do dar do dar do ), has Mulder and Scully been notified.

Copa

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Slinky

how can you say say such things and on a public forum aswell !!

Ofcouse there are hairtail in the Hawksbury and many of them

by the way my shares in Awshemee Glow Sticks have tripled over the past weeks

Arked

Ps your every move is now being monitored :tease:

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Excellent Report!!! The truth in now out there and I won't have to watch the X-files movie to find oout. Should it be illegal to see things to catch 'hairtails' that don't exist? I could be up for a big claim that means!!! :yahoo:

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Dont exsist??? i caught a 1.7 metre one a few weeks ago but there is deffinetly not as much as there was ten years ago the theory goes that they are being netted outside before they make it in to cowan creek. apparently the asian community love them and they sell for lots overseas.

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Dont exsist??? i caught a 1.7 metre one a few weeks ago but there is deffinetly not as much as there was ten years ago the theory goes that they are being netted outside before they make it in to cowan creek. apparently the asian community love them and they sell for lots overseas.

wouldnt be surprised thats for sure, everything gets raped and pilaged in the hawkesbury and outside of it. you could almost call it an underwater desert apart from the odd occasions where fish manage to be caught.

Nothing like it was years ago thats for sure.

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Isn't always true that the more people who say that have caught the "hairtail" just adds more fuel to the conspiracy theory. :tease:

To make it more creditable they say to have to catch them in the dead cold of winter and at night. Can anyone be truly trusted who enjoys these sorts of conditions or what of the condition of the said fisherman? Were they truly somber? :beersmile::beersmile:

Maybe the hairtail is related to the black panther that prowls the blue mountains?

I hope you all had a good time and enjoyed it.

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I think Stewy organises it every year to see how many people are sillier than them!!!

They are in the lap of luxury with Rob as their personal chef, while we freeze our butts off in the guise of trying to catch one of these pre-historic creatures.

Ross (Flightmanager) was cooking up a storm in the short time that we were visiting the houseboat.

Beer batter prawns, squid, and another type of prawn dish.

Thanks Ross, they were delicious.

:1prop:

Cheers

Greg

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Ahhh Slinky .... you are truly wise beyond your years :1prop:

The mystical hairtail has been the enigma of many a fisherman but now the truth has been revealed. I long suspected something was amiss, but now I have read that you been unsuccessful in numerous outings, I am convinced. There is but one flaw in your tale of woe ... this was your 5th sojourn after hairtail :074: Surely a man of your considerable intellect and experience would have revealed a conspiracy after just one session? That's 4 subsequent session perpetuating a public myth! :074:

Hang in there mate. I have discovered the secret to hairtails (shhhh), and I am posting you a packet of sea monkeys tomorrow ;)

Hodgey

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Ahhhhhh slinky what an entertaining post :074:

Guess that means we will be seeing you next year - start saving now and gather 6 or 7 friends and you can occupy the mooring beside us :biggrin2:

Here is a quick glimpse of the "mythical monsters" caught by a raider this weekend

Watch for the official report

post-869-1217158915_thumb.jpg

Cheers mrsswordfisherman

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Ahhhhhh slinky what an entertaining post :074:

Guess that means we will be seeing you next year - start saving now and gather 6 or 7 friends and you can occupy the mooring beside us :biggrin2:

Here is a quick glimpse of the "mythical monsters" caught by a raider this weekend

Watch for the official report

post-869-1217158915_thumb.jpg

Cheers mrsswordfisherman

Keep working on the myth and by next year I may have begun to believe it again enough to pull out the polar fleece for another go. Thanks very much for organising the social and for the very welcome cup of coffee in the dead of night.

By the way Donna... you've done a fantastic job with those Hawkesbury eels and the can of silver spray paint I think I saw on board MV Fishraider. :biggrin2:

Cheers, Slinky

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Keep working on the myth and by next year I may have begun to believe it again enough to pull out the polar fleece for another go. Thanks very much for organising the social and for the very welcome cup of coffee in the dead of night.

By the way Donna... you've done a fantastic job with those Hawkesbury eels and the can of silver spray paint I think I saw on board MV Fishraider. :biggrin2:

Cheers, Slinky

The good thing about the Hairtail is that if you don't want to eat them and you are restoring a 1950 fj holden They do make an excellent bumper bar.

Ross

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Keep working on the myth and by next year I may have begun to believe it again enough to pull out the polar fleece for another go. Thanks very much for organising the social and for the very welcome cup of coffee in the dead of night.

By the way Donna... you've done a fantastic job with those Hawkesbury eels and the can of silver spray paint I think I saw on board MV Fishraider. :biggrin2:

Cheers, Slinky

Hey what is the other fish?

There is a flathead and???

Thanks.

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They must have scored the only Hairtail, as well as the only Jew in the river as we had 6 lines out, a cocktail of baits out: livies, butterflied, squid, garfish, slimies, yakkas, and fishing with the legendary Jewgaffer in a dozen different Jew locations, heaps of burley, and we didn't get a single jew Saturday or Sunday.

All we got was a couple of catfish, shovel nosed shark, blue swimmer crab and a huge leatherjacket.

They must have cleaned up !!!

Cheers

Greg

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hey just wondering

what's so special about hairtail? are they a really rare specie or something? great fighting fish? good eating?

Alex

They're special in the same way that Unicorns are special... both are mythical animals that you're very unlikely to catch :wacko:

Cheers, Slinky

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hey just wondering

what's so special about hairtail? are they a really rare specie or something? great fighting fish? good eating?

Alex

From what I understand the answers are No, No and No.

But as I have never caught one I am happy to be told otherwise.

Dave

EDIT

They are very shiney.

Edited by davemmm
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Slinky,

They laugh coz they know its all TRUE!

The sad part is i honestly dont think the hairtail fishing is just a case of "better luck next year". I think it is what it is. I wouldnt think too many can get past the trawlers which is most unfortunate for us rec fishers.

A most disappointing predicament indeed.

Hopefully in the next couple of months we can see a few more reports of the shiny critters being caught by sum raiders.

Musty

has anyone seen where the trawlers get them? perhaps next year we can time a week/month long social in the same place (the more the merrier)... get in on the run of fish but also give the hairies a fighting chance of making it to their breeding grounds.

Edited by choad
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Guest abuman

They must have scored the only Hairtail, as well as the only Jew in the river as we had 6 lines out, a cocktail of baits out: livies, butterflied, squid, garfish, slimies, yakkas, and fishing with the legendary Jewgaffer in a dozen different Jew locations, heaps of burley, and we didn't get a single jew Saturday or Sunday.

All we got was a couple of catfish, shovel nosed shark, blue swimmer crab and a huge leatherjacket.

They must have cleaned up !!!

Cheers

Greg

Well I also got a jew as well it was only 44cm buut was a young jew, and i guess I was only a few hundred meters away from the sweeny? :1fishing1:

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