arpie Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Hi all I've been collecting bumber stickers & favourite sayings for about 40 years now (less so in the last 20!) Here are some of that I have noted down - feel free to add yours - no dirty, rude, sexist or racist ones please! enjoy Roberta When in doubt ....... DON'T To be a good sport, you need to lose to prove it This car is constipated - it can't pass anything Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it A quitter never wins & a winner never quits People's minds are like parachutes - to function properly, they must be open The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me again! The quickest way to find something that is lost, is to buy a replacement Before borrowing from a friend, decide which you need more I wouldn't be paranoid if people didn't pick on me! I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous Why is it that a 'slight tax increase' will cost you $200, but a 'Substantial Tax Cut' will save you 30c? The difference between God & a Lawyer - God knows that he is not a Lawyer! No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent! I was a fantastic student until I was 10, then my mind began to wander! Noble deeds & a hot baths are the best cures for depression The wages of sin is death ..... but the hours are good! I'm not in the habit of forgetting a face - but in your case, I'll make an exception! Use your head - it's the little things that count I'd like to help you out - which way did you come in? To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing Old fishermen never die - they only smell that way Experience - something you rarely get, til just after you need it. Drive like hell & you'll get there Your turn ........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAYp Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Hi Roberta, If my ex/ would have been like a Flower, I would have sprayed her with Round Up. Cheers Ray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce the Postie Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Here's one that has allways stuck with me ,it was something that my very large (read 6'8" and 300 hundred pounds)and very American science master used to yell at us often.He would get his dander up and scream. " sorry don't feed the bulldog,you kick him ,he'll bite you" Brings a smile to my face everytime i use his retort.(i can see his massive angry head sceaming at me as i type this ) Cheers, Bruce Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingyfisher Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 My old Nana years ago would pass wind WITHOUT MEANING TOO and her comment was "Where ever you may be Let the wind blow free" KF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rickb Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Roberta, My dear old dads favourite saying, Jesus Son, You wouldn't give that to a Jap on Anzac Day. Cheers Rick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
austral Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 the only sticker on my boat reads( by the way, i caught the fish you lost) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musty Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Where ever you go... There you are. And i know its not smart or witty, but i love the old "Triple M rocks..." stickers Musty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
double pluggers Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Best to say nothing and let people think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and confirm it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arpie Posted June 6, 2010 Author Share Posted June 6, 2010 My Dad used to say: More mistakes are made by not looking, than by not knowing Roberta Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brendong Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 Not so much a bumper sticker but 'Get some Bass on your Ass' is a fav saying of my esspecialy if I've not been Bass fishing in a while...Heading to 'The Gorge' in really early September with the hope that my saying will be playing over and over and over again.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercer007 Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 Bumper sticker seen on a combi. When this old vans a rockin' Don't you come a knockin' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dusky Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 (edited) My Fav on the back of a comodore wagon "& on the 7th day God created fords (to keep the a@# holes out of HOLDENS" & a sign I saw at a boat shop in Raymond Terrace Edited June 7, 2010 by Dusky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deek Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 It's not the speed that kills....it's the sudden stop. You can't put brains in statues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davemmm Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 I used to love a bit of graffiti down the back of Camperdown that said "If you where homeless you would be home by now" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anroco Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 * "Whip Out Ya Rod and Wait For A Nibble" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snag Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 (edited) One i say a long time back. DONT FOLLOW ME IM LOST TOO!!!!! Fav saying would have to be If you notice this notice you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing. Edited June 7, 2010 by snag Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arpie Posted June 8, 2010 Author Share Posted June 8, 2010 (edited) Plenty more where these came from ..... You are never alone with schizophrenia The light at the end of the tunnel could be a train coming the other way We'd worry less about what others think of us, if we realised how seldom they do! The easiest children to bring up are calm, thoughtful and someone else's Keyring - a gadget that allows you to lose several keys at once. To calculate the present cost of living, take your total income & add 20% Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion! Continental Breakfast - a roll in bed with some honey If your mind can conceive it, you can achieve it Don't lie and steal - the government doesn't like competition! If you don't want to lose face, keep the lower half shut! Friends, like mushrooms, spring up in the most unusual places Before you meet your handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of toads A quartet played Bach last night - Bach lost! A sharp tongue is the only edge tool that grows keener with constant use I bet you I could stop gambling! Everyone has to believe in something - I believe I'll go fishing!! Roberta Love the boat sign, Dusky! Back in the 70s I used to live at Wollstonecraft & walked to Tech every day past the service station that had a 'saying of the day' on a blackboard - he became famous & printed a couple of books with his 'sayings' - most of them relevant to current situations or the government! They were hilarious! I think I have one of his books - I'll see if I can find it & put some of his up! Unfortunately, he died in the 80s Edited June 8, 2010 by Roberta Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuffy Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 The cheque is in the mail------ or -- I'm from the Government, I'm here to help you !!!! Yeah, right. My fave, however is: "The best way to kill some time is to work it to death!" Cheers, Tuffy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arpie Posted June 10, 2010 Author Share Posted June 10, 2010 .... an oldie but a goodie!! ....... Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your Kayak and heat it. :074: Roberta Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuffy Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 .... an oldie but a goodie!! ....... Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your Kayak and heat it. :074: Roberta Oh, Roberta, that is really getting to the lower part of the barrell !!! Russ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
padfoot Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 My father used to tell me "You know that old saying 'It takes all kinds to make the world go around'? Well it doesn't you know but they're there anyway". Still makes me laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abecedarian Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 A bit crude but anyway. Shit doesn't just happen, arseholes cause it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hatte Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 This one will always stick in my head. "JESUS LOVES YOU BUT NO BODY ELSE DOES" No more than 10 seconds after reading it the car which had it reversed into me at a petrol station puting his tow bar straight through my radiator. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tide'n'knots Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 im a schitzophrenic and so am I.(sorry about the spelling but you get the idea) I wish you were a statue and I was a pidgeon! I wouldnt make an idiot of you, I wouldnt want to interfere with nature. Its good to have an open mind but dont be so open minded that your brain falls out! if you love someone set them free, if they return they are yours, if they dont - hunt them down and kill them! I got a microwave oven for my wife - and it was the best swap I ever made! its so cold it would freeze the brass of a bald monkey!(or something similar) and last but not least my dear old dad use to always tell me - you've got a head full of mullet gut!!! Pete. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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