mrsswordfisherman Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 My wife is a relationship councillor. I hear about relationship issues every day of the week. Here are some of things I have learned... at the risk of being deep. About 50% of relationships end in divorce Couples nearly always fail to listen and understand their partners perspective Men are often surprised when their partners want to leave them Women eventually give up asking for their men to engage in the relationship and the children/domestic responsibilities. If it gets to the stage where the women put up and shut up they start a process of detaching themselves emotionally from their man and thats almost impossible to recover from. Divorces are ugly and bitter and the kids get caught up in the middle. I go fishing when ever I want and thats about once per week. We share the domestic duties and responsibility for the kids as much as possible. My wife really gets the connection I have with fishing. I really get the importance she places in me being tuned in to whats happening at home so she doesn't feel like she is alone. We take every opportunity to show appreciation for each other, we have regular outings without the kids and we talk about the trick stuffy when it comes rather than let it fester. We have been together for 37 years. We are both 55 and we have 4 kids ( 32,27,15,12) The final word... relationships are like anything else... they need maintenance and should not be taken for granted. Cheers and good luck. Jim Excellent advice Jim and thank you for sharing that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolate Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 (edited) When I bought my boat , My wife went to pay change the names on rego due to me not being there my wife put the boat in her name. Who's the smart one. Don't tell her I told you that. In all seriousness fellows, HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE, that sums it all up. I also tell my 2 boys mums number 1. Edited November 5, 2014 by chocolate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yowie Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Once a week every week, unless I am away in the van where there is no fishing (no water anywhere to wet a line) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wowwizard Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 The trick is: annoy your wife when you are NOT fishing! You will then get to hear those magic words "When are you going fishing?" There is only one correct answer to that question, "Now" She gets some respite time and with any luck a feed of fish, So she is happy, wonderful. To think of the number of times I have had to sacrifice my time and go fishing just to keep her happy! Suppose it is small price to pay for a happy life. Has worked for me for thirty years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsswordfisherman Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 The trick is: annoy your wife when you are NOT fishing! You will then get to hear those magic words "When are you going fishing?" There is only one correct answer to that question, "Now" She gets some respite time and with any luck a feed of fish, So she is happy, wonderful. To think of the number of times I have had to sacrifice my time and go fishing just to keep her happy! Suppose it is small price to pay for a happy life. Has worked for me for thirty years. wow what a great 1st post on fishraider sounds like she is glad to get rid of you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastwood1980 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Share Posted November 6, 2014 wow what a great 1st post on fishraider sounds like she is glad to get rid of you Lol can't stop laughing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsswordfisherman Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Lol can't stop laughing lol getting banned button warmed up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbybaccala Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Haha some of these responses are great!My gf is happy for me to go fishing but actually prefers I don't catch anything; that way there is no fish carcass in the bin, no scales around the sink etc! I've learnt to finish up 30 minutes early and clean everything at the fishing spot, so the fish come home just as you would if you bought it from a shop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsswordfisherman Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Haha some of these responses are great! My gf is happy for me to go fishing but actually prefers I don't catch anything; that way there is no fish carcass in the bin, no scales around the sink etc! I've learnt to finish up 30 minutes early and clean everything at the fishing spot, so the fish come home just as you would if you bought it from a shop. A very important thing too - don't clean fish at home!!! Although I bought a nice fish cleaning table from Bunnings that has a hose attachment and all with a sink Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scratchie Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 The trick is: annoy your wife when you are NOT fishing! You will then get to hear those magic words "When are you going fishing?" There is only one correct answer to that question, "Now" She gets some respite time and with any luck a feed of fish, So she is happy, wonderful. To think of the number of times I have had to sacrifice my time and go fishing just to keep her happy! Suppose it is small price to pay for a happy life. Has worked for me for thirty years. Welcome to fishraider wowwizard! Thanks for your contributoon to the forum.From mrs swordy reaction it could be the last too! Lmao! Just so you know....... Mrsswordfisherman owns this site and she's a woman! And a lovely one too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paikea Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 You have all got it wrong, wake her up very early and pose the question "Make love or go fishing?" If she says "Don't forget the sun cream" you know that you can go fishing without recriminations. Either way you win. (I hope that this is allowed Mrs Sword?) Cheers Paikea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fragmeister Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 You have all got it wrong, wake her up very early and pose the question "Make love or go fishing?" If she says "Don't forget the sun cream" you know that you can go fishing without recriminations. Either way you win. (I hope that this is allowed Mrs Sword?) Cheers Paikea Gee mate, don't want to disclose too much personal stuff but if I tried that strategy I wouldn't get a lot of fishing in! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest stephanb79 Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Gee mate, don't want to disclose too much personal stuff but if I tried that strategy I wouldn't get a lot of fishing in!OHH my god Im at a set off lights stopped and laughing with tears and the cars behind me are beeping at me to go!!!! Love it great comment !!! Guess ill be going fishing evety time lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yowie Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 OHH my god Im at a set off lights stopped and laughing with tears and the cars behind me are beeping at me to go!!!! Love it great comment !!! Guess ill be going fishing evety time lol I would be going fishing also. Have heard the comment "stop pointing that thing at me" a few times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaners Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 (edited) You have all got it wrong, wake her up very early and pose the question "Make love or go fishing?" If she says "Don't forget the sun cream" you know that you can go fishing without recriminations. Either way you win. (I hope that this is allowed Mrs Sword?) Cheers Paikea I took your advise as stated.....I had to make love to my wife three times this morning and twice at lunch time and missed out on fishing the tide change....Bugger. Edited November 6, 2014 by wher'd all the fish go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastwood1980 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Share Posted November 6, 2014 (edited) What a topic. Don't you know that some wives read the posts on this site? Talk about stirring the pot! Not going there, I have a happy marriage and have no intention of commenting on this one. Ha, Ha Cheers Paikea Mate friends can't stop laughing every time they read your response lol Love it lol Edited November 6, 2014 by eastwood1980 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastwood1980 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Share Posted November 6, 2014 I took your advise as stated.....I had to make love to my wife three times this morning and twice at lunch time and missed out on fishing the tide change....Bugger. Wow too much info there mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsswordfisherman Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 I took your advise as stated.....I had to make love to my wife three times this morning and twice at lunch time and missed out on fishing the tide change....Bugger. and now no-one on here will believe another word you say.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mullatt Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Feel sorry for a lot of you guys that have to ask, beg, sneak, organise a payback etc to go fishing. Been married for 35 years and from day 1 my wife and I have gone fishing together, she loves it as much as I do. I consider myself to be very fortunate Having said that, I do also fish with mates regularly too, so think I've got the perfect balance. If your wife/partner is not into fishing, try spending time helping her to learn , teaching her stuff. Start off with the bait gathering.........that can be more exciting than the fishing sometimes. Just persevere and you might just find that she does enjoy going with you....................then there will be no reason to come home to an angry wife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paikea Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Mullatt said; If your wife/partner is not into fishing, try spending time helping her to learn , teaching her stuff. Start off with the bait gathering.........that can be more exciting than the fishing sometimes. Yep, that will do it, just imagine this conversation "just get those red crabs from under those cracks in the rocks dear, they don't bite, and this is how you use a nipper pump, what's up? your are getting a sore back? Now getting Bloodworms by digging in black mud with your hands is great fun, good for your painted nails as well and while we are at it how about putting some Mullet Gut on your hook, yes I know that it smells but that will go in time. Now about tonight when we get home and the kids are in bed?" No, you are dreaming, it will never happen. Cheers Paikea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastwood1980 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Share Posted November 6, 2014 Feel sorry for a lot of you guys that have to ask, beg, sneak, organise a payback etc to go fishing. Been married for 35 years and from day 1 my wife and I have gone fishing together, she loves it as much as I do. I consider myself to be very fortunate Having said that, I do also fish with mates regularly too, so think I've got the perfect balance. If your wife/partner is not into fishing, try spending time helping her to learn , teaching her stuff. Start off with the bait gathering.........that can be more exciting than the fishing sometimes. Just persevere and you might just find that she does enjoy going with you....................then there will be no reason to come home to an angry wife You are the luckiest guy on earth Now everyone let's get our wives and girlfriends into fishing!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foolforjesus Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 (edited) Hey Raiders,Ok, firstly I better lay some background to who I am, and my solution to this very challenging real issue!My name is Chris, I Loooooooooove fishing, and have done for the best part of 30 years.I seriously go fishing as much as I can, which with a 9-5, 5 days a week job, Church on Sunday, really only leaves one day a week to go...Saturdays!I am married, with a young one on the way, so things could possibly become even more challenging for me!As I've said, Saturdays are my "fishing window", and if there is something else on, its a no go for me.My wife is very good, she understands these constraints, and doesn't put too much pressure on me to be around on Saturdays.The current understanding we have (which I'm sure you'll see is very generous on her part) is:I fish 2 Saturdays out of every month unhindered by time constraints.Another Saturday I fish, but am home in time for dinner and a night in or out.Another Saturday I don't fish, and have the weekend at home, with my Wife.That is a pretty good arrangement, for me, however...The thing is as a Christian, a married man, someone who looooooooves fishing, who only gets limited time to go fishing, its all about being a man, a man of integrity, as Donna so rightly pointed out.Our job as men is simple...Love our Woman!As much as us men cannot fathom, the Women in our lives NEED our Love, which most likely equals time spent with us.Whether that is to simply sit around at home, walk around the shops, maybe even get to go fishing together (which does happen!), the simple solution to this real issue which can shake the foundations of our relationships, is to simply to give her what she needs, love, her desire to spend time with you.Love & Respect is the key!I'll say it again, Love & Respect is the key!If we as men love our wives unconditionally, she will respect us unconditionally, and will want to fulfil our needs, which as fisho's, time on the water will be high up on the list!This is not a "I'll give this to get back scenario".This is a give out of unconditional love, to which the natural response, is unconditional respect and ultimately it is a win win!The thing we all need to understand is, Women are designed to receive love, and Men are designed to receive respect.Women need love, and Men need respect.Ask yourself, Man or Woman, and I think you'll find its true.So the moral of all this is simple...Men love your Woman, and she will give you the respect you deserve, without you even asking.Women respect your Man, and he will keep giving you the Love you deserve, without you even asking.Not because we feel obligated too, but because Loving our Women & Respecting our Men is how we have been created to be! I can honestly say, myself, who couldn't bear the thought of a week without being on the water, has actually overcome those issues, and can say that I now happily spend time at home, with my Wife.Happy in the knowledge that I am loving her, and giving her what she needs.Whilst these principals will come naturally the more we practice them, it can be very challenging at first.Trust me when I say, we've had our fair share of teething problems.The good news is, the more you give this way of life a chance, you'll be amazed at how much it pours into your relationship.You both will have your needs fulfilled, and ultimately, you reach a place where fishing, happiness in life through all things will come everyday.Needless to say, your needs to be fishing will be met, among others, and you will have a richer relationship which can only be good!Also, learning to tie your own flies or even making your own soft plastic/hard body lures is a great way to fill in "those times" when your not on the water!I hope these insights help, and ultimately make life for the "fishing family" a happy place for all to be!Whilst we will still strive for those trophy captures, don't forget, we already have caught the greatest...The women (and men) in our lives! (I know this might sound cliché, but when you really think about it, its so very true!) Edited November 7, 2014 by foolforjesus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsswordfisherman Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 You are the luckiest guy on earth Now everyone let's get our wives and girlfriends into fishing!!!! Yesssssss eastwood - please get more mrs into it. Mullatt I admire you for suggesting that members spend time to teach wives or g/f's to fish. Lets face it, its not rocket science. Swordie is a very lucky man his other half made him this website called fishraider. I initially thought some women would come on here and we could do things like have social tourneys men against women but it will never happen Cmon ladies join up don't be afraid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsswordfisherman Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Hey Raiders, Ok, firstly I better lay some background to who I am, and my solution to this very challenging real issue! My name is Chris, I Loooooooooove fishing, and have done for the best part of 30 years. I seriously go fishing as much as I can, which with a 9-5, 5 days a week job, Church on Sunday, really only leaves one day a week to go...Saturdays! I am married, with a young one on the way, so things could possibly become even more challenging for me! As I've said, Saturdays are my "fishing window", and if there is something else on, its a no go for me. My wife is very good, she understands these constraints, and doesn't put too much pressure on me to be around on Saturdays. The current understanding we have (which I'm sure you'll see is very generous on her part) is: I fish 2 Saturdays out of every month unhindered by time constraints. Another Saturday I fish, but am home in time for dinner and a night in or out. Another Saturday I don't fish, and have the weekend at home, with my Wife. That is a pretty good arrangement, for me, however... The thing is as a Christian, a married man, someone who looooooooves fishing, who only gets limited time to go fishing, its all about being a man, a man of integrity, as Donna so rightly pointed out. Our job as men is simple...Love our Woman! As much as us men cannot fathom, the Women in our lives NEED our Love, which most likely equals time spent with us. Whether that is to simply sit around at home, walk around the shops, maybe even get to go fishing together (which does happen!), the simple solution to this real issue which can shake the foundations of our relationships, is to simply to give her what she needs, love, her desire to spend time with you. Love & Respect is the key! I'll say it again, Love & Respect is the key! If we as men love our wives unconditionally, she will respect us unconditionally, and will want to fulfil our needs, which as fisho's, time on the water will be high up on the list! This is not a "I'll give this to get back scenario". This is a give out of unconditional love, to which the natural response, is unconditional respect and ultimately it is a win win! The thing we all need to understand is, Women are designed to receive love, and Men are designed to receive respect. Women need love, and Men need respect. Ask yourself, Man or Woman, and I think you'll find its true. So the moral of all this is simple... Men love your Woman, and she will give you the respect you deserve, without you even asking. Women respect your Man, and he will keep giving you the Love you deserve, without you even asking. Not because we feel obligated too, but because Loving our Women & Respecting our Men is how we have been created to be! I can honestly say, myself, who couldn't bear the thought of a week without being on the water, has actually overcome those issues, and can say that I now happily spend time at home, with my Wife. Happy in the knowledge that I am loving her, and giving her what she needs. Also, learning to tie your own flies or even making your own soft plastic/hard body lures is a great way to fill in "those times" when your not on the water! I hope these insights help, and ultimately make life for the "fishing family" a happy place for all to be! THAT is a great post and thanks for sharing that with us Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastwood1980 Posted November 7, 2014 Author Share Posted November 7, 2014 Hey Raiders, Ok, firstly I better lay some background to who I am, and my solution to this very challenging real issue! My name is Chris, I Loooooooooove fishing, and have done for the best part of 30 years. I seriously go fishing as much as I can, which with a 9-5, 5 days a week job, Church on Sunday, really only leaves one day a week to go...Saturdays! I am married, with a young one on the way, so things could possibly become even more challenging for me! As I've said, Saturdays are my "fishing window", and if there is something else on, its a no go for me. My wife is very good, she understands these constraints, and doesn't put too much pressure on me to be around on Saturdays. The current understanding we have (which I'm sure you'll see is very generous on her part) is: I fish 2 Saturdays out of every month unhindered by time constraints. Another Saturday I fish, but am home in time for dinner and a night in or out. Another Saturday I don't fish, and have the weekend at home, with my Wife. That is a pretty good arrangement, for me, however... The thing is as a Christian, a married man, someone who looooooooves fishing, who only gets limited time to go fishing, its all about being a man, a man of integrity, as Donna so rightly pointed out. Our job as men is simple...Love our Woman! As much as us men cannot fathom, the Women in our lives NEED our Love, which most likely equals time spent with us. Whether that is to simply sit around at home, walk around the shops, maybe even get to go fishing together (which does happen!), the simple solution to this real issue which can shake the foundations of our relationships, is to simply to give her what she needs, love, her desire to spend time with you. Love & Respect is the key! I'll say it again, Love & Respect is the key! If we as men love our wives unconditionally, she will respect us unconditionally, and will want to fulfil our needs, which as fisho's, time on the water will be high up on the list! This is not a "I'll give this to get back scenario". This is a give out of unconditional love, to which the natural response, is unconditional respect and ultimately it is a win win! The thing we all need to understand is, Women are designed to receive love, and Men are designed to receive respect. Women need love, and Men need respect. Ask yourself, Man or Woman, and I think you'll find its true. So the moral of all this is simple... Men love your Woman, and she will give you the respect you deserve, without you even asking. Women respect your Man, and he will keep giving you the Love you deserve, without you even asking. Not because we feel obligated too, but because Loving our Women & Respecting our Men is how we have been created to be! I can honestly say, myself, who couldn't bear the thought of a week without being on the water, has actually overcome those issues, and can say that I now happily spend time at home, with my Wife. Happy in the knowledge that I am loving her, and giving her what she needs. Whilst these principals will come naturally the more we practice them, it can be very challenging at first. Trust me when I say, we've had our fair share of teething problems. The good news is, the more you give this way of life a chance, you'll be amazed at how much it pours into your relationship. You both will have your needs fulfilled, and ultimately, you reach a place where fishing, happiness in life through all things will come everyday. Needless to say, your needs to be fishing will be met, among others, and you will have a richer relationship which can only be good! Also, learning to tie your own flies or even making your own soft plastic/hard body lures is a great way to fill in "those times" when your not on the water! I hope these insights help, and ultimately make life for the "fishing family" a happy place for all to be! Thank you for sharing it with us, so true. Feels like I just read a chapter from a bible Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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