Dreamtime
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Posts posted by Dreamtime
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A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe PhotoShop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulae. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturised HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the shepherd and says,
"You have exactly 1586 sheep."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep," says the shepherd.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as he stuffs it into the boot of his car.
Then the shepherd says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a consultant," says the shepherd.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered the shepherd. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you know bugger all about my business ...
" .... Now give me back my dog."
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6 degrees of blonde
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
And said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife said, 'I don't know,
Some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
The sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
Mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second blonde
Says, 'Here, let me see!' So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,. -:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,
So she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment
Unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him
In the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry.
She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,
She is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Victoria ?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: V .'
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
'Is it mine?'
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
SIXTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
Ransacked and burglarized.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog,
Then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen.
I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman.'
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
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It appears all the rods in the photos are for spinning reels.
Do they make rods to suit overheads?
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i thought mariner 31 was a marine officer or something and was gonna fine miller
Now that's a sense of humour
N.B. No one implied anything, simple sums equate to two fihermen X 20 squid = ?????
Sorry for being informative
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I think even in low range you would struggle.
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Brickman is correct, compass & hydro chart(s) of the area, you're also required to carry 2 litres of drinking water per crew member, secondary propulsion & wp torch. As Warnie mentioned having a drogue would be wise.
I believe that it is 2 litres of water per person per day. Therefore for an overnighter you would have to consider doubling the 2 litres.
Laminating charts makes them near impossible to plot your course on them with a pencil. A chart is no use without dividers and a parallel ruler.
Correct - secondary propulsion - oars.
A bailing utensil must also have a lanyard attached to the vessel.
Cheers
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Roberta, I think you and Slinky should open a restaurant, or at least a smoke haus.
I have always been interested in smoking my own but have never really got around to doing it as I thought it was all too hard.
I am always on the lookout for smoked fish or beef but there is nothing available here. You can only get sun dried fish or clamshells.
When I was in PNG there was a guy there who smoked beef and put it in a heat sealed plastic bag for resale. It was great to have a chew on it with an ale or two. He had two variations - chillie and mild. He called his product Jungle Jerky.
Maybe you and Slinky could corner the market on a great little nibbly
Food for thought.
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Great effort to you and Dene, Hodgey.
Some pretty good smiles on those dials relay the great time you guys had.
As always, 10 out of 10 for the fantastic pics of your backyard.
Is that the Great Dividing Range in the background?
Gotta love those rocky ledges - looks a great place to put out a livey.
Have you exclusive rights to this river system?
Never seem to see any other anglers boats in your shots.
Picture postcard and a great report.
Thanks
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Miller thats shocking!!! what about the bag limit???
The captain of Shocking Asia is not impressed either.
Invertebrate Bag Limits
Species*******************Size Limits or Legal Length**************Bag Limit
Squid and cuttlefish******************----NIL---********************20 in total*
* a bag limit comprised of any single species or a combination of listed grouped species.
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Taylor, PJ's & a good Lizard
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Fish Biologists have collected vast quantities of length and weight data from a variety of fish species. This has enabled length and weight relationships to be calculated for some fish species which can be used to estimate weight of a fish by measuring its length. Please note that these figures are estimates only and individual fish weight will vary depending on age, sex, season and recent feeding activity.
Measuring length
In some of the conversion tables, fork length measurements have been used while in others, total length has been used. Fork length is measured from the snout to the fork of the tail. Total length is measured from the snout to the tip of the tail.
Remember: Legal lengths (total lengths) are measured from the point of the snout to the tip of the tail.
Yellowfin bream (Acanthopagrus australis)
Please note: The following table has fork length measurements. Legal lengths are total lengths and are measured from the point of the snout to the tip of the tail.
Fork Length (cm) Weight (kg) Fork Length (cm) Weight (kg)
25 0.4 48 2.7
26 0.4 49 2.9
27 0.5 50 3.1
28 0.5 51 3.2
29 0.6 52 3.4
30 0.7 53 3.6
31 0.7 54 3.8
32 0.8 55 4.1
33 0.9 56 4.3
34 1.0 57 4.5
35 1.0 58 4.8
36 1.1 59 5.1
37 1.2 60 5.3
38 1.3 61 5.5
39 1.5 62 5.8
40 1.6 63 6.1
41 1.7 64 6.4
42 1.8 65 6.7
43 1.9 66 7.1
44 2.1 67 7.3
45 2.2 68 7.7
46 2.4 69 8.0
47 2.5 70 8.4
Reference: Steffe, A.S., Murphy, J.J., Chapman, D.J., Tarlinton, B.E. and Grinberg, A. 1996. An assessment of the impact of offshore recreational fishing in NSW waters on the management of commercial fisheries. FRDC Project no. 94/053. Publishers, Fisheries Research Institute, NSW Fisheries. 139pp.
Yellowtail Kingfish (Seriola lalandi)
Please note: The following table has fork length measurements. Legal lengths are total lengths and are measured from the point of the snout to the tip of the tail.
Fork Length (cm) Weight (kg) Fork Length (cm) Weight (kg)
60 2.8 94 10.6
61 2.9 96 11.3
62 3.0 98 12.0
63 3.2 100 12.8
64 3.4 105 14.8
65 3.5 110 17.0
66 3.7 115 19.4
67 3.8 120 22.0
68 4.0 125 24.9
69 4.2 130 28.0
70 4.4 135 31.4
71 4.6 140 35.0
72 4.8 145 38.9
73 5.0 150 43.0
74 5.2 155 47.5
76 5.6 160 52.0
78 6.1 165 57.3
80 6.5 170 62.6
82 7.0 175 68.3
84 7.6 180 74.3
86 8.1 185 80.7
88 8.7 190 87.4
90 9.3 195 94.5
92 9.9 200 101.9
Reference: Stewart, J., D. J. Ferrell, B. van der Walt, D. Johnson,and M. Lowry. 2002. Assessment of length and age composition of commercial kingfish landings. Final report to the Fisheries Research and Development Corporation, Project No. 97/126. NSW Fisheries, Cronulla.
Snapper (Pagrus auratus)
Please note: The following table has fork length measurements. Legal lengths are total lengths and are measured from the point of the snout to the tip of the tail.
Fork Length (cm) Weight (kg) Fork Length (cm) Weight (kg)
30 0.6 62 4.5
31 0.7 64 4.9
32 0.7 66 5.4
33 0.8 68 5.8
34 0.9 70 6.3
35 0.9 72 6.9
36 1.0 74 7.4
37 1.1 76 8.0
38 1.2 78 8.6
39 1.3 80 9.2
40 1.3 82 9.8
42 1.5 84 10.5
44 1.7 86 11.2
46 2.0 88 12.0
48 2.2 90 12.7
50 2.5 92 13.5
52 2.8 94 14.4
54 3.1 96 15.2
56 3.4 98 16.1
58 3.8 100 17.1
60 4.1
Reference: Moran M. J. and C. Burton. 1990. Relationships among partial and whole lengths and weights for Western Australian pink snapper Chrysophys auratus ( Sparidae). Fisheries Department of Western Australia, Fisheries Research Report No. 89.
Mulloway (Argyrosomus japonicus)
Total Length (cm) Weight (kg) Total Length (cm) Weight (kg)
45 1.0 112 14.4
46 1.1 116 16.0
48 1.2 120 17.6
50 1.3 124 19.4
52 1.5 128 21.4
54 1.7 130 22.3
56 1.9 135 24.9
58 2.1 140 27.7
60 2.3 145 30.8
64 2.8 150 34.0
68 3.3 155 37.4
72 3.9 160 41.1
76 4.6 165 45.0
80 5.4 170 49.1
84 6.2 175 53.5
88 7.1 180 58.1
92 8.1 185 63.0
96 9.2 190 68.1
100 10.3 195 73.5
104 11.6 200 79.2
108 12.9
Dusky Flathead (Platycephalus fuscus)
Total Length (cm) Weight (kg) Total Length (cm) Weight (kg)
36 0.3 72 2.7
37 0.3 74 2.9
38 0.3 76 3.2
39 0.4 78 3.5
40 0.4 80 3.8
41 0.4 82 4.1
42 0.5 84 4.4
43 0.5 86 4.8
44 0.6 88 5.1
45 0.6 90 5.5
46 0.6 92 5.9
47 0.7 94 6.4
48 0.7 96 6.8
49 0.8 98 7.3
50 0.8 100 7.8
52 0.9 105 9.1
54 1.1 110 10.6
56 1.2 115 12.2
58 1.3 120 14.0
60 1.5 125 15.9
62 1.7 130 18.1
64 1.8 135 20.4
66 2.0 140 23.0
68 2.2 145 25.7
70 2.5 150 28.7
Reference: Steffe, A.S., Murphy, J.J., Chapman, D.J., Tarlinton, B.E. and Grinberg, A. 1996. An assessment of the impact of offshore recreational fishing in NSW waters on the management of commercial fisheries. FRDC Project no. 94/053. Publishers, Fisheries Research Institute, NSW Fisheries. 139pp.
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WOW!!!!
The title says it all.
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Personally I haven't had a hangover for over 10 or 15 years now.
I guess I just drink tooooo much alchohol.
E.g. Had 2 beers at 4.30pm, now on to my 2nd scotch and milk, then will be punishing the body severely tonight with all my friends over dinner to celebrate the big day.
But seriously - those of you who smoke - don't smoke while you drink (impossible task) and you will feel like a million bucks in the morning. This definately works....
Failure to adhere to this theory, you will be looking for the cat in the morning.
Which cat?
The one that relieved himself in your mouth during the night.
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Great to see you back, hope all is well with the family and trust the
has a speedy recovery.Someone else who is conspicuous by their absence is the Stumpy fella - where is he???
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all
Special
wishes to Sammy & Carlhope you all have a great day
CFD
Thanks for the kind wishes. I trust we all had a good day.
Heading out shortly for dinner with 20 or so mates.
Will down a coldie or 2??? for you guys.
Many happy returns to the other Raiders sharing this special day
Cheers & good wishes
Carl
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Iwannajewy and I are heading to Taree for the weekend
. Hopefully we'll get in some and the weather stays nice and we wont be . Hopefully we'll catch some nice fish to fry up for dinner. I'll post once home and let everyone know how it goes.Good luck, Manning should be firing now.
Thanks for the well wishes.
Cheers
Carl
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Anyone seen the barometer?
It has just spiked 1.1 points in 1/2 hour, having dropped steadily since last night. Wind is out of the NWN and strengthening. We are due for a SW change. Is this prime barometric conditions for a feeding frenzy (Byron and others). Am I been reading it right and should I go to the top of the class or should just I get a smiley stamp for trying?
Cheers
Owing to a daily atmospheric tide effect, the pressure will normally fall by about three hectopascals between 9 am and 3 pm and will rise by a nearly similar amount between 3 pm and 9 am, even if weather systems are stationary. A smaller rise and fall occurs during the night and early morning. These daily (diurnal) changes must be allowed for before you can really say whether pressures are rising or falling due to weather systems. The best way to avoid this difficulty is to observe changes over 24-hour periods, using your movable set pointer. In other words, check your barometer at the same time each day.
When there is a fairly large fall, say more than seven hectopascals in 24 hours, you can assume that a high is moving away or that a depression is approaching or both.
Hope this helps
Cheers
Mariner
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I bought the
a new 50W Tiagra and matching stand up stick.She didn't like it
Guess who she gave it to
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Nice post, Ross.
It doesn't really get any better than that, does it.
Russ
Too True! -
I'll post a couple of shots of mine if you show me yours!
Cheers, Slinky
Here's a shot of mine
We are talking about the same thing - aren't we?
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I often ponder on the possibilities of this while fishing the "Dark Hours"
so what happens to kingfish do they sleep, hide or go out to sea?
Thanks All
Cam
They look for the Queenfish !!!!!
, just like you and I -
Can anyone advise what pressure is required to tighten the flywheel bolt on this engine.
Thanks
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Hope you have a terrific birthday Christie
Good luck out on the water mate!
Chasing flatties on Sat (weather permitting)
Home maintenance and gardening on Sunday, followed by a
and a rest Hodgey
Thanks Hodgey,
Christie's birthday is actually today. She's the lucky one, a cake for her and her schoolmates, a cake for the family tonight, and a cake for her party on Saturday.
Hodgey and I both have daughters named Christie Leigh (me) Christie Lee (Hodgey). I liked the spelling Lee, however the
thought it sounded too Chinese (Very large number of Chinese here, which is good for the economy)Thanks for the good wishes and have an enjoyable weekend.
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Well for me:-
1/ I came into this world on that day many moons ago.
2/ I have a high court case to attend to
3/ Olympic Games commences, and my many hours of viewing starts
There are many Chinese here in Solomons and they see the number 8 as being a very important and lucky number to them. Their motor vehicle registration has an 8 in it and phone numbers the same. The more 8's in the number, the better for them. Hence the date the Olympic Games commence in China - 888
What are you doing on this day?
has a speedy recovery.
. Hopefully we'll catch some nice fish to fry up for dinner. I'll post once home and let everyone know how it goes.
Too True!
The Bouillabaise Mission
in Fishing Reports
Posted
Who said fishermen are of a sane breed?
Great read, some light relief to kick start the day.
It sounds like Briggadeer Bundy
was out in force as well. 
Well done on what appears to have been a fun day out for you guys.