How embarrasing, man!

[GreyNurse]

Looks like I can get up for an early Friday morning fish, as, for us cricket tragics, I can pack it in and get some sleep. Is there any point in hoping that Australia can recover from an all out for 60 innings before lunch on the first day of the 4th Test?

Maybe someone can extend Michael Clarke an invite to join Fishraiders, 'cause he ain't going to playing a lot of cricket this summer. He'd have to score better on the water.

[Guest no one]

Loved it. I remember last year when we got drummed and it was a terrible feeling not helped by all the media that showed me that Australians aren't bad losers, but bad winners when it comes to sport.

But very little social media comments from my Australian friends this morning! I'd say it certainly wasn't what anyone was expecting!

[locodave]

I read it this morning. All out in half an hour?! Hang on, let me read it again incase i made a mistake!

[fragmeister]

The worst thing was it clearly wasn't the pitch that caused so many wickets to fall so cheaply.

There was certainly something in the pitch for the bowlers but only if you bowled well.

You can't take anything away from the Pommie... ( as much as I hate to say it)

[ambrose607]

One commentator said Broad had school boy figures. Why wouldn't he they were playing a bunch of school boys.

[big Neil]

Sport brings out the best and the worst in us! For now the best from England and the absolute worst from Australia. 'Tis only a minor pothole in the road of life. HOWEVER...if Tottenham beat Utd...then the road will have crashed into the sea.

[Scratchie]

There's no point winning the urn anyway! They never let us bring it back to OZ.

But seriously, that is a piss poor performance by the Aussies and they should be embarrassed!

[amkr]

I laughed.

[locodave]

Haha saw this today

[Crossfire63]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ROFLMAO

[Jamestown]

Embarrassing unfortunately no resistance was shown and the lack of fight showed throughout the innings and into there bowling and fielding.

[Yowie]

Brad Haddin will be happy he was not playing this match.

There was a close up of Rod Marsh's face at one stage. He was not smiling, nor was he saying or mumbling anything, just a blank stare.

Scott Morrison, the Governmant might have to start cancelling their return Visas.

Edited August 7, 2015 by yowie

[Cargo05]

I wouldn’t mind so much if they went down fighting, but they all went in a similar fashion pushing at balls that in the main should have been left alone. Yes the Poms are playing well, but only because we are playing so badly. We have been outplayed in every facet of the game. Our batting has been pathetic, our fielding has been ordinary at best, and the bowling has been very poor. What has gone wrong? What has happened behind the scene that we aren’t aware of? The World Cup seems a lifetime ago. Going on last night’s effort we should have sent Australia A to England. At least the up and coming players would have been exposed to cricket at a higher level, and they would hopefully gain some experience. Just pathetic.

[ambrose607]

Australia A are playing India A at this moment in a one dayer. Usman Khawaja 100. Joe Burns 154. Get them on the next plane to England. Joe Burns was in the test team here last summer and went ok. Don't know why he missed out for Vouges.

[antonywardle]

I enjoyed it

Good thing Extras did ok. Top scored with 14

[Scratchie]

I've seen more fight in a jellyfish!

[sam bros]

Praying for some sort of miracle

I don't understand how you can demolish England by 400+ runs then get absolutely annihilated the next 2 tests

[GreyNurse]

Ah, Yes. Good ol' Xaviera Tras top scored. First time in any test match as well. Well done Xavier.

But to put a few things in perspective. Nottingham had rain for a few days preceding this test, including a timely shower the evening before the start. The morning was overcast and humid. Perfect conditions to bowl a Duke ball, especially if you're a Pom. Then throw that ball to arguably England's most in form bowler who's playing on his home ground. You'd have to be Geoff Boycott to survive against that.

At the same time, Australia's batting was inexplicable. They were pushing well forward to Broad's deliveries without much footwork. And not just one or two, but at least 7 wickets fell with that manner of batting. Not good enough. Personally I think that after Smith departed the rest of them were convinced that the pitch was a minefield.

Then out come England and Mr. Root gave Australia a masterclass in batting technique. Finally, at least one Aussie bowler twigged to how it should be done and Mitch Starc has gone on to take a 6fer.

A performance like Australia's cannot be put down to the players alone. (Although Clarke has gone. Should have been gone last November) Where are the batting bowling coaches? What are they instructing our players? With the length that Broad,(and Finn, et al) are bowling, what about reminding batsmen to stand forward, outside the crease, to upset the bowler. And that's just something I've picked up watching the lunch break on 9! As Cargo05 has suggested, something is not quite right behind the scenes.

Edited August 7, 2015 by GreyNurse

[Crossfire63]

I think one of the BBC commentators hit it on the head. They spend too much time playing 20/20 and one day cricket in funny clothes with silly colored balls.

There's not one of them that could bat for a day and a half to save a test. I've seen Geoff Boycott do that. He saved a test and a series. Voges shouldn't even be in the team he's not a test match batsman.

Warner is not a test opener and i agree Nursie, but Clarke should have been gone long ago along with Watson.

[GreyNurse]

I think one of the BBC commentators hit it on the head. They spend too much time playing 20/20 and one day cricket in funny clothes with silly colored balls.

There's not one of them that could bat for a day and a half to save a test. I've seen Geoff Boycott do that. He saved a test and a series. Voges shouldn't even be in the team he's not a test match batsman.

Warner is not a test opener and i agree Nursie, but Clarke should have been gone long ago along with Watson.

It's true that since the inception of one day cricket, batting discipline has devolved. Not just in Australia, but world wide. Batsmen cannot go for long periods without trying to score runs. The pundits call this aggression. Good bowlers call it grist for the mill. This. and the inexplicable need for a result, has had the knock on effect of more and more test matches not going the distance.

Want to give someone you don't like a gift? Try a ticket to the 5th day of a Test cricket match. They'd be better off with a Tic Tac.

[harold]

It is a very sad dtime for Australia cricket. I am an avid fan and supporter of our team but seriously, you would be hard pressed to find a positive out of the last test.

Edited August 9, 2015 by harold

[GreyNurse]

Just two more points before I clam up.

Michael Clarke would have to be the most scripted Australian captain there has been. His list of cliches is endless. Don't get me wrong, he's (been) a great cricketer, but has been cursed by injuries. However, off field, in front of the media, he "plays the game" and says what he has been told to say. So much so, that I don;t hold much stock with anything he says . When asked if there was disharmony in the cricket team, he "emphatically denied" the rumors. This is the same guy who said it was "the right time" to retire. Right time? The right time was at least 6 months ago. As 2UE's British correspondent said, Australia is in the same position as England was 6 months ago in that this series was one too may for a number of Australian players. I'd say a few of the younger players knew this and weren't happy with team selections.

As I've mentioned, Tests rarely go the 5 days that they are scheduled . Why not then make the duration of a Test match 4 days? If scheduling is handled correctly, the players get an extra day off to recover, and the punters are more likely to actually use their last day ticket. I mean really, is a draw that bad?

Edited August 10, 2015 by GreyNurse

[ambrose607]

No disharmony in the team? Clarke was a brilliant cricketer over many years but he brought a lot of trouble to the team himself remember a talented opener who was never to play for his country ever again because of Clarke. Simon Katitch

[roadrunnerparts]

I dont follow the cricket.......however received this email yesterday.

The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricket team for a meeting. They want to ask their advice about going downhill so fast!

What's the difference between Michael Clarke and a funeral director?
A funeral director doesn't keep losing the ashes.

What is the main function of the Australia coach?
To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

On his way out into the middle to bat, Michael Clarke gets a call from
his wife and a teammate tells her he's heading out to the
middle.
His wife replies, 'I'll hold, he won't be long!'

What's the difference between an Aussie batsman and a Formula 1 car?
Nothing! If you blink you'll miss them both.

Who has the easiest job in the Australian squad?
The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Australian innings.

What's the Australian version of LBW?
Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Why is Michael Clarke cleverer than Houdini?
Because he can get out without even trying.

What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ?
A vacant lot.

Did you hear what the stump microphones picked up when The Ashes
skippers tossed the coin?
Cook called correctly and, quick as a flash, said to Michael Clarke, 'You lads can bat.'
Just as quickly, Clarke replied, 'No, we can't. We really can't.'

What's the difference between Michael Clarke and a phoenix?
At the end of the ashes, the phoenix still has a future.

What do you call an Aussie with a bottle of Champagne?
A waiter.

What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer?
Retired.

What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch?
A fisherman.

Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment?
They haven't got any openers ..

What is the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies?
Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.

What does an Australian batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson? They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.

Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone on the Australian cricket team?
The woman who irons their cricket whites.

What do you call an Aussie holding a six inch urn above his head?
The England coach.

What's the height of optimism?
An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.

[GreyNurse]

Classic. As Richie Benaud might have said, "Good medicine, that."