kikila

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: 'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.' ************************** In a Podiatrist's office: 'Time wounds all heels.' ************************** On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels ************************** At a Proctologist's door: 'To expedite your visit, please back in.' ************************** On a Plumber's truck: 'We repair what your husband fixed.' ************************** On another Plumber's truck: 'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.' ************************** On a Church's Bill board: '7 days without God makes one weak.' ************************** At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee : 'Invite us to your next blowout.' ************************** At a Towing company: 'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.' ************************** On an Electrician's truck: 'Let us remove your shorts.' ************************** In a Nonsmoking Area: 'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.' ************************** On a Maternity Room door: 'Push. Push. Push.' ************************** At an Optometrist's Office: 'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.' ************************** On a Taxidermist's window: 'We really know our stuff.' ************************** On a Fence: 'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!' ************************** At a Car Dealership: 'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.' ************************** Outside a Muffler Shop: 'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.' ************************** In a Veterinarian's waiting room: 'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!' ************************** At the Electric Company 'We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be.' ************************** In a Restaurant window: 'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.' ************************** In the front yard of a Funeral Home: 'Drive carefully. We'll wait.' ************************** At a Propane Filling Station: 'Thank heaven for little grills.' ************************** And don't forget the sign at a CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP: 'Best place in town to take a leak.' ********************** Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck: 'Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises'

great vid, magic place thanks

You think English is easy??? Read to the end . . . a new twist 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce . 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present . 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row . 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' Now ponder this: There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is'UP.' It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ? We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UPthe house and some guys fix UP the old car . At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, workUP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special. And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP .. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP . When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP . One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP, so............ it is time to shut UP .! Oh . . . one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P

you a relo of lance tomson by chance?? nice fish BTW

nice Garry i'll have to catch up soon

The fight last night was a cracker well worth the 50 bucks they were asking' both Mundine and Hamdan did Australia and themselves proud, Mundine was the classier fighter and deserved his win. The under card was crap other than the light heavy weight fight which on paper looked like another mismatch but turned out to be a very good fight but every match on the under card was a mismatch and was a back hander to everyone who paid their hard earned to watch

The wearing of thongs when rock fishing is not a good idea, with the slippery sand stone rocks around Sydney it is down right dangerous. Get a pair of sandals or joggers with plastic bottoms and add cleats or screw bottle tops on the bottom, you can also buy dedicated foot for rock fishing BTW some nice fish but not worth not get hurt or killed for!

very nice flatty you got there Garry

Fishraider member Norm Maltby "twinfisher" and my mate of better then 30 years was found dead at the local boat ramp this morning, what happened is not know but was probably a heart attack. Norm was a keen fisho, a good bloke and a bloody great mate. He will be sorely missed by all that knew him. Good bye old friend I miss you already.

good to see your stating to get some results after a slow start to the season now all you need is for the Bunnies to win a few and you can really start smiling

Tigers Rule

Well done Brett great to see you finally got yourself a beakie , sounds like an awesome weekend.

a mirror carp caught on a piece of line tied to bit of stick with an old hook i found some place with a earth worm for bait 1965 or there abouts the gears a little more high tech these days but the thrill is the same

AT LAST!!!!! A CONCISE REPORT

I don't have a clue on what i'm backing maybe one of the pommy horses

beaut effort fellers and in conditions that looked less then kind Brett hows the arm coming on?

The worm that you pumped looks like a squirt worm to me and they are a great bait for just about anything, use a long shanked hook and feed most of the worm up the hook. Squirt worms break up easily so be carefull.

During my recent illness I was given some games to help pass the time as there is only so much internet surfing you can do and have fond them to be quite additive. My 2 favourites are Yuri’s Revenge & Battlefield 2 what are yours

My brother in law how is nudging 60 and has a head on him like a robbers dog’ no his is worse than that, he’d make Yassar Arafat look good in comparison” even if he’s has been dead awhile. Now “Tony” not to mention any names or anything, got talked into getting his ear pierced by a nubile young sales lass; Tony never doing things by half measures instead of getting a little stud or something similar got this garish green stone the size of a match head. When he went to work, he got ragged unmercifully by his workmates who told him that he had the wrong lug pierced and he must be a closet date puncher which did not please him one little bit but being a stubborn bugger would not be swayed. The following day at work the blokes had green lipstick and mascara for Tony and that really riled him up so he went and saw the boss and made a complaint. The boss told the offending workers that the company had an equal employment policy and as long as Tony didn’t breach OHNS he could damn well wear what he wanted. The upshot is there anyone that’s in the market for a second hand ear adornment? Or should this go in swap and sell?

The only way ford could win if all the holdens pranged

you mean he uses a brail computer? or is seeing eye dog very clever?????

With the Broncos & Melbourne Storm playing out the grand final this year does anyone in Sydney really care who wins? On a personal level I wish that they both would loose but seeing that’s not possible if you twisted my arm up my back I would have to barrack for Brisbane because it is at least league country where Melbourne is AFL

Nice effort there Garry better than the other day aye , hoping to have a go out of my boat Tuesday all things being equal

Thanks for the kind words; I’m looking forward to wetting a line this season, with the amount of baitfish and pelagics about & early warm water it just maybe a bumper season. Bring on the dollies

Finally got out for a days fishing; its been at lest 3 months since I last wet a line either due to crook weather, boat problems or ill heath something always got in the way and I must admit that the older I get the bigger sook I become so the cold weather was a big disincentive. Met up with Garry “BUSTER1” at St George anglers boat ramp where we launched, first order of business was to get some live bait at the Yarra bay bait grounds’ the yakkas were hard to come by but at the end of an hour we had 6 plus a sweep and a little blurter, rather then wast any more time chasing bait it was decided to head out to the peak with what we had. Conditions were a bit sloppy on the way out so we slow down and trolled our way out to the peak rather than bash ourselves around; we were pretty disappointed that by the time we had reached the peak some 8 nautical miles without so much as a touch the water temp was 18 to 19 degrees and very warm looking, with some good showings on the sounder we dropped our baits down’ Garry with a livie, me a couple of strip baits on droppers I started getting bite strait away which turned out to be a mixture of little jackets, sweep and large maidoes. There may have been better fish down but with a raging northerly current aided with a nor westerly wind the drift was bloody fast only taking 20 minutes to drift from the north peak to the southern peak but Garry did loose 2 yakkas 1 that had been chomped in half. The sea had smoothed out but the current still raging we decided to head in closer and give the trag grounds a go, this spot also prove disappointing the current was still belting along and the only thing we caught were butchers p*icks. Heading back to the bay we came across large schools of salmon feeding on krill and would not be tempted with any of our offerings’ which was just another frustration, also came across some small tuna out a little wider but they weren’t interested either. Back in the bay we gave molineaux point a shot for blurters for zip also had a flatty spin where Garry had a good hit but that was about it. The pin was pulled at 2pm after 8 hours on the water the fish of the day was a sweep pretty crook aye LOL. Sorry about the lenght of the report but its been a while since my last report and thanks for the day out Garry even with the lack of fish it was a great day out fish of the day