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Adj. 2 : Music to a Fishermans Ears, rather distracting to Sailors- Please see above post Sailors still use them Ross! Enough said.............hehehe Cheers Stumpy and another term "This Big" : a lie Stumpy!

Okay, here is my interpretation of a few words. Fishing: A labour of love that involves a man "sucking" up to his wife so that he may head out with other like-minded males and catch, kill, and bring home fish to feed the family. (This works in the reverse for Female Fishos) Boating: A term used by Fishos to describe a day out on the water when no fish were caught. Certainly goes down a lot easier when discussing your day out with mates at the pub. Sailing: Dont go there, Poofter sport. Jewels: You find them in a Jewie. You also use them to acquire "fishing" time with your mates, or "boating" time should you not catch anything. Sucking Up: Any form of service to allow a bloke some "Fishing" time or "Boating" time. Sometimes involves "Jewells"- see above. Strike: Think about it............ Lumpy Conditions: Occurs after a "Strike"- see above Swell: Your Wife visits Mother In Law for a week...........and takes kids. Twins: Two Mercs on the arse of a bertie Scream: Something you want your reel to do. Something that you like to hear your "Twins" do- see above Etech Sailors use them-see above Soon to be updated. Cheers, Stumpy

okay, well, if I have to ! Plus 2 stumpettes and Stumpy Jnr please! Cheers, Stumpy

I think that you need to see a shrink...............................forget the Jewies. Why in Gods name would you want to go to England?........to live????????????. If you do end up there, pop in and give their cricket team a few pointers.And if you see Wilkinson, break his goal kicking foot please. Cheers, Stumpy

I had a long night of misery with the same thing happening down Smiths Creek. I ended up going through every livie I had caught until I was down to my last livey yakka that was dead.(I suppose you call them "Deadies") I butterflied him and ran a treble as a stinger and slipt it under the butterflied yakka. 2 minutes later I was on with a small shark.The little bugger had nailed every livey I had with surgical precision. It wasnt till I had the total shits and tried something different that I was able to identify my thief! Cheers, Stumpy

Nice catch mate, its great to see and hear of a first catch. The kids were let down though as they thought that was Kingy Blood across your face from your first catch ! Its kind of a tradition on our boat Well done Cheers, Stumpy

Sounded like a good time lads...............except for the lack of fish. Don't blame yourself Jewgaffer, blame Rooster!- I know I do! Cheers, Stumpy

That would be next to the Police Mooring near the "No Fishing" sign! (Good Place that) By the way Ceph, it reads more like you were at a seafood shop, not the flamin river! (My reports never read that good ) Cheers, Stumpy

Yep Stumpy hehehe

Whoops, sorry , Little Stumpy was on my PC................... little bugger ! I accidently logged on as him ! I actually think that bloke actually had a good point ! Cheers, Stumpy

Your a pretty smart fella then, I wouldnt have thought of that !

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone. 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.' Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say. Cheers, Boss Stumpy

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?' Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. Cheers, Stumpy. (Your local financial guru)

A Cajun man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. Here is your first question, the foreman said. 'Without using numbers, represent the number 9.' 'Without numbers?' The Cajun says, 'Dat is easy.' And proceeds to draw three trees. 'What's this?' the boss asks 'Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine,' says the Cajun. 'Fair enough,' says the boss. 'Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.' The Cajun stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. 'Ere you go.' The boss scratches his head and says, 'How on earth do you get that to represent 99?' 'Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99.' The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Cajun, so he says, 'All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.' The Cajun stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, 'Ere you go. One hundred.' The boss looks at the attempt. 'You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!' The Cajun leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, 'A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred.' 'So, when I start? Cheers, Stumpy (I dont believe I posted this)

hmmmm, I would have gone for a bigger truck

Correction, some people in America............................

Thanks for the reminder from you all! Boof, you write a great poem! Just remember, you are only as old as the woman....................oh, forget it I'm going to the bar! Stumpy

Duh!!!!!!! Whats wrong with the VB exercise program that I am currently on Stumpy! hic

And you should know all about this subject Ross (Being the King of "Kink") Hehehehe Stumpy

Sucker Slinky hehehehe Well done on the King mate!

Yes , my learned Jewgaffer, Confucious also say, "Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs." Wishing you peace, The ever wise Stumpy

If anybody ever says you are Ugly, Stupid & Mentally Slow... SCREW them!! You can't help it. Cheers, Stumpy __._,_.___

mmm, those parents are a little slow I think !

Thats cause your always rowing your boat ! Lady Penelope's car flys you idiot ! Much like "Day Release" Heheheheh

Well done both of you! Couldnt have been given to a better bunch of blokes! Now your a Gold Member Boof, you must PICK UP sinking swimming fishraiders rather than glide right by and wave to them ! Cheers, Stumpy