So sorry to hear that…. You and your wife will be changed forever, I know my parents were when my brother died.
This is the best advice…… always talk about what you are going through….
As the listener you don’t have to have the magic words, often just being there is a help.
I readily talk about what I have been through to anyone who wants/needs an ear. It’s only what I went through and may be nothing like what others go through, but talking definitely helps.
No-one is alone or an island, even though it can feel like it.
stu.